I'm feeling micromanaged

I don't like to feel this way, and yet I do.

Since my "breakdown" of late last year, I have been seeing a counselor, an older woman, who I have come to see doesn't agree with various of my child-rearing beliefs (like allowing my children into my bed at night), who states how she believes I so need the exercise outlet and should try to get to the gym more than the once a week I can currently work into my schedule, then who chastises me for not appropriately prioritizing my "mental health" time as, the only time left to get to her puts me at a Friday morning when I am, well, prioritizing my physical health at the gym.

Then she starts to suggest how my mother, on her possible (nothing even yet set in stone) trip out in November, can watch the children while I arrange a meeting with her, and even goes so far as to suggest my mother stay in our home for a week just so that I can make a counseling session. My mother has expressed interest in staying in a hotel so that she can have more freedom to go out, shop, etc. in the mornings while I have to run around with the children, teach my classes, etc. Which is just fine with me.

I honestly do not feel I have gotten much out of my counseling sessions this year--I don't feel I've learned much if anything new about myself, and all my self-definition this year has really not come with her assistance but rather through my own alone time and personal reflection. We have even been down to seeing each other once a month or so.

I now have inadvertently double-booked myself for a Friday morning in November--and I think I am going to have to call and cancel. I almost feel like she just wants more money from me--although from the looks of the car she drives, she hardly needs it.

I know it is Fall, I can feel the season tugging at me, and I recognize it this year. It is not as strong of a pull as it was last year. There are changes I need to make in my life to make me happy, I don't know quite how to make them, and she can't help me with that...and these are changes that have absolutely nothing to do with popping meds, which I am personally against for my own body and soul anyway. I don't feel like I need that. I am trapped and need out, and only I can make that happen.