tis a week...

Between correcting the last class exams before finals, compositions and prepping for an in-class observation tomorrow, I am swamped. I am ready for a vacation...a REAL one this time. It will happen...South America, perhaps, for a short rato this summer? I can only hope.

this week's housewives

Boy, talk about the promos being a LOT hotter than the show...

I am so bummed that Peter (Bree's now ex-sponsor) is just that...and what a disappointing twist. An SA in recovery. And I thought Bree was gonna get some...and some hot at that. I guess we'll have to see what plays out there. I mean, I'm still hung up on Susan and Mike, for goodness sake.

Go, Lynette. What one heck of a deposition. It helps to be informed of the truth...and at that, all of the truths.

Carlos' face, upon learning of the mother's puesto with the Cowboy Rodeo, was classic.

Felicia sure had a way of crushing Edie's engagement party (but she deserved it...)...and boy, the rocking and rolling upstairs between Frank and Susan--well, we all had to ask ourselves when that was going to happen, being that the sexual tension between the two of them from the very first episode has been sky high.

Gabi and Carlos are going to make great parents...if they can come up with a better way than stealing the baby!!!

Quote of the night, upon Gabi's complaint upon receiving the phone call that their birth mother was in labor, and on not having four more weeks to wait for the birth of their baby, the comment of the "inconvenience" of the situation prompted Lynette to respond, "Welcome to parenthood."

And what a welcome that is.

spring exertion

It is in the 75/23 degree range today and Life is soooooooo good. K actually walked the 1.5 mile/2.5km trek all the way to preschool this morning...maybe I will make a walking partner out of her yet! I was truly impressed with her high energy and willingness to go without a stroller this morning. This, of course, assisted by the fact the C could stay home with Daddy. It ended up being really nice girl time.

I walked, with stroller this time and C in tow, back to get her this afternoon, then we spent a couple hours over at S's house, had lunch, worshipped the Sun God for about 20 minutes then trekked back home. It is so liberating to finally be able to get out of the house and walk without freezing to death like last week.

I do love Spring...and I do not mean to rub it in to those upon whose doorsteps Spring has not yet arrived. When we are drenched in our high-humidity this summer, you will then be happy!

spring has sprung...

Spring has sprung with flowers fair
zephyrs rare,
And a joy that knows no care...

I sang that as a child in choir and always recall those words at this time of the year.

The chill of winter is melting away today, it is supposed to be a beautiful day today and tomorrow. I can't wait to take the children to the playground.

Maybe I can even wear a mini-skirt to work tonight. At least my knees are no longer so black-and-blue and swollen.

I have four recommendations to finish for study abroad scholarships and a couple more details to iron out for tonight's classes. (Personal shout-out here: GO MASON!!! FINAL FOUR!..okay, so OBVIOUSLY I am just dreaming about living in the Land of Hanalei--who wouldn't?--but I have to demonstrate a little pride for my "little commuter school"...my students sure are excited! I guess Good Morning America is going to be there tomorrow morning...)

yawwwwwwwwwn Up way too late last night and up way too early this morning...do I hear Buckies' iced mocha calling out for me this morning?

Okay...personal for a moment...

Thank you for the prayers, the thoughts, the kindnesses. It all helps. The flashbacks have not stopped but are getting farther apart. The onset of Spring helps me to be more thankful and less bitter.

...and there is so much for which to be thankful...

...and yes, I do include chocolate and wine on that list.

physical healing

Yesterday was as if somebody had flipped The Master Switch and my body was back on-line again. I felt like I was operating at about 90% of normal again and it felt great! I can breathe again, I can carry my son, I can walk at a normal pace, I can talk at my volume in class, I can cough and sneeze, I can turn my neck, and I even had a workout this morning. I could feel the pull a bit in my chest while rowing, but it was not excrutiating. Progress is definitely being made.

The physical healing will assist with the emotional, I know this. It is hard to start to reconcile events while feeling so physically incapable of doing so.

My scars are healing. It is time to smile again!

la primavera

Good days and bad days.

I am ready to have more good ones than bad ones now, but the ratio is not yet in my favor. Going to work was a wonderful release last week, although it does hurt to project my voice as normal. I can't reach as high on the blackboard as I am accustomed. Minor challenges, really.

A 30 minute coughing fit at 2 a.m. felt like it almost killed me. I have never known the pain and the fear caused by not being able to breathe for such a long period of time. I want to feel better now.

Why does Subaru offer their greatest deals and savings before March 31st this year? I know why, I am just complaining. I am not ready to go and even test-drive a new car yet--not for a couple more months, until MQE can drive again, too. Why bother until then?

A close friend is starting hearings this week, not in this country, in a case stemming from a past presidents' regime. Could face up to 9 years jail time, but is innocent. I have seen the legal paperwork; the case is all based in speculation, but judgment is in the hands of a corrupt system.

I know from another friend at the IMO in London that our friend in Malawi is trying to apply for a position with them, to get him and his family out of his tierra natal. I hope that something can be worked out. He at the IMO remains uncommittal.

It is hard when you care. Stressful. Sometimes I wonder why I bother when all I do is estresarme por completo.

Lots of memories flooding me all of a sudden this weekend of all those I have lost--I hope they are still watching over me and taking care of me. Were those the angels who saved our lives? No...the priest said that we can't become angels, it doesn't happen like that. As if a mortal alive here on Earth could actually determine how Angels are created by a Supreme Being.

I have been lost in a huge wave of nostalgia, very much missing those from whom I will never again hear and yet--wait--it is like I can hear that laugh, that voice right in my ears, still playing as if they are right behind me.

But I turn around and cry, they are not here.

I am ready for Spring. I want warm temperatures, flowers and soft earth into which I can plunge my fingers and grimy my fingernails and pull the weeds and begin to plant anew for the year.

That will make me feel better.

erasure

Trying to get the blood stains out of my clothes.

It is my favorite shirt, given to me by my friend. All the stains came out of all the other clothes but this one shirt, in which the faint yellow of the blood protein left a visible enough shadow to call in the power of peroxide.

So I dab and dab with wet washcloths, all the stains set into the soft blue cotton.

Vigorous vinegar rinse.

Throw it into the wash on cold.

Drip dry.

The stains are gone.

Does this mean I should feel better now?

Does this mean everything is going to be okay?