"You have a nice body," she purrs as I relax following a set of bicep curls at the small gym this morning. Her Spanish-flavored accent is punctuated by a flip of her telenovela-type hair that any woman would die for. "Do you work out every day?"
"No," I say, "I have two children, I'm really lucky to just get here twice or perhaps three times a week." I feel awkward, sweaty, disgustingly gross in front of such a petite latin beauty queen was most likely simply blessed with skinny genes and marvelous hair.
It's so funny. The last time my body was commented upon in such a manner was by a lesbian gym teacher in the 7th grade. That is an incredibly formative time in any young girl's life as one deals with so many hormonal and body changes, and what could possibly be a most innocent comment can end in creating self esteem and self-image issues. That comment, for some reason, made at that time did not do me much good (perhaps having to do with the ribbing to which I fell victim from the rest of my friends following gym class that day), and memories of that encounter of almost 25 years ago flooded my mind for the remainder of this morning.
I don't feel like I look bad, and I am not fishing for compliments because I do not need them. However, the question remains: Why is it never a hot Latin hunk with great hair, a beautiful body and a musky scent who wants to whisk me away forever and... well, you know the rest of the story.
No, that would be too good to be true, even in the best of the telenovelas that Univisión can offer...and I'm probably too old and would be too scared, anyway! Now, maybe in my past life...!
viernes, 7 de septiembre de 2007
martes, 4 de septiembre de 2007
English is a tough language.
I have been working.
I've been working.
I haven't been working. vs. I have not been working.
Have you been working?
You have been working/You've been working, haven't you?
Have you not been working? Haven't you been working?
Well...have you ever stopped to think about how a non-native speaker would tackle this grammar point of the present perfect continuous? Not only the formation thereof, but the adoption of the correct intonation, the adecuate enunciation of the contractions (especially the negative contractions), the natural rises and falls occurring between words and at the ends of sentences which lend nuance and meaning, the differences implied when using a contraction versus when not using a contraction...what is stressed, the subject or the action.
We take so much for granted, as do any native speakers of any language. Hats off to those who are making an honest effort to learn my mother tongue.
English is not easy. It sure isn't easy to teach it, either!
I've been working.
I haven't been working. vs. I have not been working.
Have you been working?
You have been working/You've been working, haven't you?
Have you not been working? Haven't you been working?
Well...have you ever stopped to think about how a non-native speaker would tackle this grammar point of the present perfect continuous? Not only the formation thereof, but the adoption of the correct intonation, the adecuate enunciation of the contractions (especially the negative contractions), the natural rises and falls occurring between words and at the ends of sentences which lend nuance and meaning, the differences implied when using a contraction versus when not using a contraction...what is stressed, the subject or the action.
We take so much for granted, as do any native speakers of any language. Hats off to those who are making an honest effort to learn my mother tongue.
English is not easy. It sure isn't easy to teach it, either!
New beginnings
My baby girl started kindergarten today.
My baby boy will start preschool tomorrow.
I start with a new student tomorrow and continue on with slightly less-new students.
I feel refreshed, ready, and yet...>>sniff sniff<<...my baby birdies are slowly leaving the nest I have created for them.
La Princesita glowed as she told me about her school day. The Young Prince wanted to have his picture taken with his new backpack, too. Even had it all packed up, even though he didn't start school today. That means we are extra-ready for tomorrow.
I am validated in my feelings to know that I am not the only mother amongst my friends to shed tears today.
I am so proud of my babies.
I needed a change of scenery and a new name. How easy it is online to simply alter identity, assume alter-egos. I hope you enjoy!
My baby boy will start preschool tomorrow.
I start with a new student tomorrow and continue on with slightly less-new students.
I feel refreshed, ready, and yet...>>sniff sniff<<...my baby birdies are slowly leaving the nest I have created for them.
La Princesita glowed as she told me about her school day. The Young Prince wanted to have his picture taken with his new backpack, too. Even had it all packed up, even though he didn't start school today. That means we are extra-ready for tomorrow.
I am validated in my feelings to know that I am not the only mother amongst my friends to shed tears today.
I am so proud of my babies.
I needed a change of scenery and a new name. How easy it is online to simply alter identity, assume alter-egos. I hope you enjoy!
sábado, 1 de septiembre de 2007
September in God's time
Today was the first of September. It felt like a September day. The sky was a brilliant blue, that which we only see as an autumn sky.
I spent the day in the garden--more God time. I am finding God in so many more places that God made and less so in places man-made in God's name. I'm not sure why that is, but as I have always been drawn to nature, perhaps that is where God is calling me to find him now.
This is a difficult issue for me as I have been raised Catholic and in a firm, church-going household. I believe in God. I love my God. I want my children to grow up with a respect and a love for God as well, and believe they should be educated so as to be able to make their decisions as to how they must individually pay respect to God in their lives. I try to teach them in my home the importance of God in our lives, and how we can be God-like in how we treat ourselves and how we treat others. I try to teach as well a respect for all life, even the lives of the bothersome crickets currently invading our home.
I used to believe that my rather antisystemic point of view stemmed from a fundamental insecurity in my beliefs; that indeed, God would strike me down if I didn't attend Mass each week. I have come to see that, contrary to the point of view of many, instead I am extremely secure in my faith and am willing to stretch my relationship with God and question instead of being a mere blind follower...
So I, in the past 10 months, have made some realizations and some decisions based on these realizations. One great realization is that I have always done what others believe I should do for their approbation. That is not necessarily what is correct for me to do, but I do. I want people to be proud of me and to see me as doing what they define to be as right, even if it does not feel right in my heart. Some of this has to do with my manner of practicing my faith. There are other subjects that fall under this idea as well. However, God is the theme for today.
And I enjoyed the first day of September fully today--and in God's time!
I spent the day in the garden--more God time. I am finding God in so many more places that God made and less so in places man-made in God's name. I'm not sure why that is, but as I have always been drawn to nature, perhaps that is where God is calling me to find him now.
This is a difficult issue for me as I have been raised Catholic and in a firm, church-going household. I believe in God. I love my God. I want my children to grow up with a respect and a love for God as well, and believe they should be educated so as to be able to make their decisions as to how they must individually pay respect to God in their lives. I try to teach them in my home the importance of God in our lives, and how we can be God-like in how we treat ourselves and how we treat others. I try to teach as well a respect for all life, even the lives of the bothersome crickets currently invading our home.
I used to believe that my rather antisystemic point of view stemmed from a fundamental insecurity in my beliefs; that indeed, God would strike me down if I didn't attend Mass each week. I have come to see that, contrary to the point of view of many, instead I am extremely secure in my faith and am willing to stretch my relationship with God and question instead of being a mere blind follower...
So I, in the past 10 months, have made some realizations and some decisions based on these realizations. One great realization is that I have always done what others believe I should do for their approbation. That is not necessarily what is correct for me to do, but I do. I want people to be proud of me and to see me as doing what they define to be as right, even if it does not feel right in my heart. Some of this has to do with my manner of practicing my faith. There are other subjects that fall under this idea as well. However, God is the theme for today.
And I enjoyed the first day of September fully today--and in God's time!
jueves, 30 de agosto de 2007
Walking our buns off...
It was true God time today with the monitos.
At 5:00 I decided that we were going to WALK, yes, WALK to Whole Paycheck. That is, according to MapQuest, .95 mile away from home. And we walked.
Now, for me that is not a huge task; I do that all the time to get to the gym. The huge task for me, indeed, was the patience factor--waiting for especially my youngest with the really tiny, short legs to, at his pace, keep up with the "big kids."
He did phenomenally well. I kept trying to find little incentives, like, "Oh, you can balance here!" or "Look, a fire engine!" (sidenote here: I have started substituting 'engine' or any other suitable word for 'truck' as, in the Young Prince's vernacular, 'truck' comes out sounding like a rather profane action...and he LOVES his f***s. Big f**k. Small f**k. Bob (the Builder) f**k. Cement f**k. Dump f**k. And the like. You get the picture. The relatives love it.)
A rewarding dinner at Whole Paycheck, followed by potty breaks for all and shopping for the cheese that I so need for the lasagna I am making for MY birthday dinner tomorrow night (the cake is for him. I went through 40 hours of labor, so I at least get to eat what I want for dinner!) and, spirits rejuvenated, we headed back for home, singing "Little Red Caboose" all the way home.
What joy. What fun. What a great way to get in touch with my inner child. I love feeling so at-peace, and with my beautiful children holding each of my hands while walking down the street singing Buckwheat Zydeco...well, that just can't be beat. Thank you, God!
At 5:00 I decided that we were going to WALK, yes, WALK to Whole Paycheck. That is, according to MapQuest, .95 mile away from home. And we walked.
Now, for me that is not a huge task; I do that all the time to get to the gym. The huge task for me, indeed, was the patience factor--waiting for especially my youngest with the really tiny, short legs to, at his pace, keep up with the "big kids."
He did phenomenally well. I kept trying to find little incentives, like, "Oh, you can balance here!" or "Look, a fire engine!" (sidenote here: I have started substituting 'engine' or any other suitable word for 'truck' as, in the Young Prince's vernacular, 'truck' comes out sounding like a rather profane action...and he LOVES his f***s. Big f**k. Small f**k. Bob (the Builder) f**k. Cement f**k. Dump f**k. And the like. You get the picture. The relatives love it.)
A rewarding dinner at Whole Paycheck, followed by potty breaks for all and shopping for the cheese that I so need for the lasagna I am making for MY birthday dinner tomorrow night (the cake is for him. I went through 40 hours of labor, so I at least get to eat what I want for dinner!) and, spirits rejuvenated, we headed back for home, singing "Little Red Caboose" all the way home.
What joy. What fun. What a great way to get in touch with my inner child. I love feeling so at-peace, and with my beautiful children holding each of my hands while walking down the street singing Buckwheat Zydeco...well, that just can't be beat. Thank you, God!
a half month and a half a world away...
I need to start blogging again. It has been too long!!! And so much has happened, so many changes, so much evolution--
First off: Perú
Many places I have visited in my last trips to Perú have now been completely destroyed. The friendly places in which I stayed are now piles of rubble in Paracas and Pisco and Ica, the restaurants at which I ate and the shops where I purchased omiyage for the children in my life are now part of memory. The Paracas National Reserve sustained huge damage, including the destruction of the celebrated and famous Catedral rock formation, an estimated 30+million years old, that fell into the ocean. A brother of a friend who is now living in Pisco was finally able to contact family. His home fell to the ground, but he climbed out of the rubble. He got out. Sounds like he was one of the luckier ones.
My thoughts wander back to two people: one, a lovely man I had met, a caretaker at the bungalowes in Paracas where I stayed. This was not the Hotel Paracas but a small, simple place that made both my stays very comfortable. He was a wonderful gentleman who came to bring me breakfast on my balcony each morning and, upon my return trip six months later greeted me with a wide smile and abrazo that made me feel so welcome.
I hope he is okay.
I probably will not go back there to find out, at least not in the foreseeable future.
The other was a mute whom a friend had assisted by feeding him daily, as he had heard this man howling in the streets and found out by trying to communicate with him that he was hungry. I met this man during my last trip in January--the pisqueños call him "el loquito" (the little crazy guy). Then, while surfing the images of the quake on the rpp.com website, I found this picture of him. That made me so happy, to have some positive light, a picture of an anonymous man who I had actually met, who has no idea the impact he has made in the lives of others, who just lives day by day and perhaps is surprised some days he actually wakes up.
Churches I visited are now crumbled to the ground, claiming the lives of many devouted celebrating what was their final Mass of the Assumption. Ironically, the prison in Chincha collapsed, freeing 600 inmates. Few have been recaptured.
The Ballestas Islands are said to be 60-90% destroyed.
I am sad, wistful, my mind filled with memories of places visited, places that will no longer be the same as I remember them to be. Yet lives are starting over, renewal will occur, and I hope to be able to, one day, rejoice in the reconstruction efforts of those so massively affected by the quake.
Secondly, my baby boy.
C turns 3 tomorrow. The thought that three years have flown by so quickly overwhelms me. However, I look back at myself at the same time and realize how much personal change I have allowed to occur and I am pleased; indeed, I don't feel I have wasted too much time (!) and I am definitely a better mother now that I am allowing myself to be so, giving myself permission to stop trying to please others and do what everyone else will applaud me for...and just be me. Much easier. My children are teaching me so much!
Happy Birthday, Baby Boy! And you are off--to preschool next week!
There is so much more but I have, alas, run out of time. There has been so much soul-searching this year--I have not wanted to write so as not to write the wrong things--we'll see if I can't shake that a bit now--but old habits do die hard.
First off: Perú
Many places I have visited in my last trips to Perú have now been completely destroyed. The friendly places in which I stayed are now piles of rubble in Paracas and Pisco and Ica, the restaurants at which I ate and the shops where I purchased omiyage for the children in my life are now part of memory. The Paracas National Reserve sustained huge damage, including the destruction of the celebrated and famous Catedral rock formation, an estimated 30+million years old, that fell into the ocean. A brother of a friend who is now living in Pisco was finally able to contact family. His home fell to the ground, but he climbed out of the rubble. He got out. Sounds like he was one of the luckier ones.
My thoughts wander back to two people: one, a lovely man I had met, a caretaker at the bungalowes in Paracas where I stayed. This was not the Hotel Paracas but a small, simple place that made both my stays very comfortable. He was a wonderful gentleman who came to bring me breakfast on my balcony each morning and, upon my return trip six months later greeted me with a wide smile and abrazo that made me feel so welcome.
I hope he is okay.
I probably will not go back there to find out, at least not in the foreseeable future.
The other was a mute whom a friend had assisted by feeding him daily, as he had heard this man howling in the streets and found out by trying to communicate with him that he was hungry. I met this man during my last trip in January--the pisqueños call him "el loquito" (the little crazy guy). Then, while surfing the images of the quake on the rpp.com website, I found this picture of him. That made me so happy, to have some positive light, a picture of an anonymous man who I had actually met, who has no idea the impact he has made in the lives of others, who just lives day by day and perhaps is surprised some days he actually wakes up.
Churches I visited are now crumbled to the ground, claiming the lives of many devouted celebrating what was their final Mass of the Assumption. Ironically, the prison in Chincha collapsed, freeing 600 inmates. Few have been recaptured.
The Ballestas Islands are said to be 60-90% destroyed.
I am sad, wistful, my mind filled with memories of places visited, places that will no longer be the same as I remember them to be. Yet lives are starting over, renewal will occur, and I hope to be able to, one day, rejoice in the reconstruction efforts of those so massively affected by the quake.
Secondly, my baby boy.
C turns 3 tomorrow. The thought that three years have flown by so quickly overwhelms me. However, I look back at myself at the same time and realize how much personal change I have allowed to occur and I am pleased; indeed, I don't feel I have wasted too much time (!) and I am definitely a better mother now that I am allowing myself to be so, giving myself permission to stop trying to please others and do what everyone else will applaud me for...and just be me. Much easier. My children are teaching me so much!
Happy Birthday, Baby Boy! And you are off--to preschool next week!
There is so much more but I have, alas, run out of time. There has been so much soul-searching this year--I have not wanted to write so as not to write the wrong things--we'll see if I can't shake that a bit now--but old habits do die hard.
sábado, 7 de abril de 2007
hiatus
It has been hard to keep up with everything. Indeed, running one's own business and working on my textbook has taken the place of other activities that used to busy my hands, which means some have had to suffer sacrifice while others flourish.
The good news is, I love working for myself, I love the dynamics of being self-employed and the natural transitions that work like this offers me. I have more time now for my children during the day, which is wonderful. And I am in the black having only been in business for a couple of months, which is a plus. Although not earning as much as I did yet at Mason, the quality of life has improved, I am a much happier person and job-satisfaction is high. Come August I will focus more on effectively advertising myself and preparing for more of a set schedule for the school year.
We just finished dying Easter eggs. The kids had a wonderful time. Tomorrow is our annual Easter Egg Hunt, which will be fun--as always. I look forward to sharing in Easter joys with our friends.
Today there was a small layer of snow lacing the cherry blossom buds and the tips of the tulips. I got my camera out and took some pictures. Hopefully they will turn out well.
Happy Easter!
The good news is, I love working for myself, I love the dynamics of being self-employed and the natural transitions that work like this offers me. I have more time now for my children during the day, which is wonderful. And I am in the black having only been in business for a couple of months, which is a plus. Although not earning as much as I did yet at Mason, the quality of life has improved, I am a much happier person and job-satisfaction is high. Come August I will focus more on effectively advertising myself and preparing for more of a set schedule for the school year.
We just finished dying Easter eggs. The kids had a wonderful time. Tomorrow is our annual Easter Egg Hunt, which will be fun--as always. I look forward to sharing in Easter joys with our friends.
Today there was a small layer of snow lacing the cherry blossom buds and the tips of the tulips. I got my camera out and took some pictures. Hopefully they will turn out well.
Happy Easter!
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