I am OUT of chocolate.
This is an
Official Emergency.
Must
gasp
get to
gaaaaasp
store...
(crawls away, scratching at floor)
martes, 11 de marzo de 2008
viernes, 7 de marzo de 2008
underwear musings
Okay...on to more "existential" concerns...just to balance out Life a bit.
And please don't laugh.
I can't find any "boy shorts" that fit.
I love the style, the look. They're cute. They're different. They're pretty and colorful now for Spring. Great.
So do I just give up? Or do I get one from every store I can find until I can finally find The One that Works for Me (a bit cost-prohibitive). Nothing is very comfortable anymore for some reason. I have tried all logical sizes, small to large (any bigger and they would just fall down--remember I am a skinny llama) and size does not seem to be the violating factor.
It is definitely a ride-up issue. I like thongs because they are made to be where they are worn. That, to me, is comfortable. I do not like underwear that tries to travel to unwelcome parts of their, um, world.
And please don't laugh.
I can't find any "boy shorts" that fit.
sigh
I love the style, the look. They're cute. They're different. They're pretty and colorful now for Spring. Great.
But to be honest, a thong is a heckufa lot more comfortable to wear than those things.
So do I just give up? Or do I get one from every store I can find until I can finally find The One that Works for Me (a bit cost-prohibitive). Nothing is very comfortable anymore for some reason. I have tried all logical sizes, small to large (any bigger and they would just fall down--remember I am a skinny llama) and size does not seem to be the violating factor.
It is definitely a ride-up issue. I like thongs because they are made to be where they are worn. That, to me, is comfortable. I do not like underwear that tries to travel to unwelcome parts of their, um, world.
sigh again
perhaps it is destined to be a Commando summer.
miércoles, 5 de marzo de 2008
Life
My father-in-law is doing better, sounding clearer, and will be checking out of the rehab hospital for home this week.
My mother-in-law cannot remember what she has eaten during the day due to agressive frontal lobe degeneration (aka Alzheimer's) and will doubtfully even remember her own name, let alone her children, in a few months.
It is so difficult to see those we hold in such high esteem for all of our lives become weak and decline with age. Perhaps because it is a constant reminder to us, in our "prime", of what we are to become with age...and such a thought is just not very promising.
My father almost died of a pancreatic tumor that doctors at OHSU had never seen before back in 1980, when he was 40. That recurred in his liver in 1995, finally killing him in 1999. Instead of looking forward to my future, I find myself dreading the aging process that I face over the next few years. Logically, it is highly doubtful that I will suffer the same issues that my father battled; our lives are so different--many external variables were in play in my father's life that have not ever been applicable in my life. However unreasonable, the fear and the dread exist.
My mother was diagnosed with Graves' Disease after my father's death, so I have been watching closely my thyroid as well. However, with her that is the extent of any "malady" of age that she has experienced thus far. I consider myself, in a way, lucky to have not had to deal with the problems, yet, that many face when their parents become older. That may sound extremely self-centered, and interpret that as you may...but I do not for a moment wish that my father were dead instead of being here to complete my mother's life and to be known by his grandchildren.
La Princesita, the highly sensitive soul she is, can tell that something is up so we talked about it this evening. The situation is completely beyond her comprehension, but I vowed when I was about to become a mother that I would not allow anything to inhibit my communication with my children, so when they come to me with a question, I do all I can to answer it at their level (Today's magic question was, by the way: Mommy, what is a "hippie boy?"...duuuuuuude...).
Bringing Real Life to their level also makes me think a lot about growing older, and how much easier it would be to just end Life so as not to put our loved ones through the pain of watching their parents decline, forget who they are, forget their children, have their insides eaten up or rot away by some disease...whatever. But that is no solution, either, and is selfish to boot--not to mention morally unacceptable by the standards of institutionalized religion and social standards.
So what do we do? How do we grow old with grace and beauty? Do we live each day as if it were our last? To what extent is such living possible? The accident of two years ago brought this to the forefront of my mind, as all who came to our rescue in our overturned, afire car were prepared for a carful of fatalities. Had it been a car made to a lesser quality standard, we probably would all be four little crosses on the side of the road just east of Nashville.
But we weren't.
Why?
How do we live each day as if it were our last? I honestly am not sure how, when we get so caught up in the to-do lists, work, the children and their schedules, trying to salvage even a moment for a little me-time--then start feeling guilty when I think that I should be taking every moment with my children and making it as if it were my last.
I never thought this way before the accident.
Now I find myself thinking it more and more.
My mother-in-law cannot remember what she has eaten during the day due to agressive frontal lobe degeneration (aka Alzheimer's) and will doubtfully even remember her own name, let alone her children, in a few months.
It is so difficult to see those we hold in such high esteem for all of our lives become weak and decline with age. Perhaps because it is a constant reminder to us, in our "prime", of what we are to become with age...and such a thought is just not very promising.
My father almost died of a pancreatic tumor that doctors at OHSU had never seen before back in 1980, when he was 40. That recurred in his liver in 1995, finally killing him in 1999. Instead of looking forward to my future, I find myself dreading the aging process that I face over the next few years. Logically, it is highly doubtful that I will suffer the same issues that my father battled; our lives are so different--many external variables were in play in my father's life that have not ever been applicable in my life. However unreasonable, the fear and the dread exist.
My mother was diagnosed with Graves' Disease after my father's death, so I have been watching closely my thyroid as well. However, with her that is the extent of any "malady" of age that she has experienced thus far. I consider myself, in a way, lucky to have not had to deal with the problems, yet, that many face when their parents become older. That may sound extremely self-centered, and interpret that as you may...but I do not for a moment wish that my father were dead instead of being here to complete my mother's life and to be known by his grandchildren.
La Princesita, the highly sensitive soul she is, can tell that something is up so we talked about it this evening. The situation is completely beyond her comprehension, but I vowed when I was about to become a mother that I would not allow anything to inhibit my communication with my children, so when they come to me with a question, I do all I can to answer it at their level (Today's magic question was, by the way: Mommy, what is a "hippie boy?"...duuuuuuude...).
Bringing Real Life to their level also makes me think a lot about growing older, and how much easier it would be to just end Life so as not to put our loved ones through the pain of watching their parents decline, forget who they are, forget their children, have their insides eaten up or rot away by some disease...whatever. But that is no solution, either, and is selfish to boot--not to mention morally unacceptable by the standards of institutionalized religion and social standards.
So what do we do? How do we grow old with grace and beauty? Do we live each day as if it were our last? To what extent is such living possible? The accident of two years ago brought this to the forefront of my mind, as all who came to our rescue in our overturned, afire car were prepared for a carful of fatalities. Had it been a car made to a lesser quality standard, we probably would all be four little crosses on the side of the road just east of Nashville.
But we weren't.
Why?
How do we live each day as if it were our last? I honestly am not sure how, when we get so caught up in the to-do lists, work, the children and their schedules, trying to salvage even a moment for a little me-time--then start feeling guilty when I think that I should be taking every moment with my children and making it as if it were my last.
I never thought this way before the accident.
Now I find myself thinking it more and more.
lunes, 3 de marzo de 2008
now THIS is me!
My purpose is not to gloat but to make myself feel good.
The sun was shining today. Wonderfully. Well. Good. Warm. I only had to wear one layer. That says a lot.
So what did I accomplish today? (enter sinister laugh here)
1. Got up, showered, checked blogs, dressed, unloaded dishwasher, made breakfast, ate my breakfast and my llama-bucks by 6:45.
2. Monkeys up by 7. Dressed (easy as today was Pijama Day at La Princesita's school), fed, brushed, combed, out the door all by 8:30.
3. To Home Depot by 9:10. Out by 9:30. Air filters, light bulbs and landscaping stone bought.
4. Cut back herb garden, removed old falling-down retaining "thing" and put in new beautiful and reeeeeally preeeeeety stone before getting Princesita at 11:20. Brought extra thyme to office staff at her school. Made lots of smiles happen.
4.5. Talked to Other Queen from Neighboring Village for about 15 minutes on phone. Called endologist who wondered why I didn't show up for my appointment that I had phoned and cancelled last week...where are our heads, people??? Come on, work with me.
5. Pick up The Young Prince by noon. To the Other Home Depot to try to find more landscaping stone, none encountered but my mother's day/birthday wish list made note of to La Princesita. She will not forget. Home by 12:30.
6. Fed the monkeys. Outside in the grass for a picnic in the sun. Could feel the luuuuuve.
7. Cleaned up herb garden, weeded, swept driveway, then proceeded to edge the entire front yard.
8. Student--AGH! 1 hour break--for work. (a-hem)
9. Back out to the garden to clean up for an hour. Realize the children are not outside, so go inside and yell at spouse for having them inside and watching television on such a beautiful day. Back outside, hula-hoop for a while (yes, I've still got it) and then in to make dinner (pesto pasta with italian sausage and salad--of course)
10. Eat dinner. Emails. Got another job in to finish up final details for transcript I did in December. Showered, dressed, printed students' work, corrected it for class tonight.
11. Watch Spanish news on Univisión while writing this and wondering what the f*** is going to happen now between Venezuela, Colombia and el Ecuador de mi corazón (I lived there 16 years ago).
12. Class at 7, then I have a date with a glass of wine to celebrate my wonderfully productive day. It is AMAZING what I can do once the sun shines.
I LOVE SPRING!
The sun was shining today. Wonderfully. Well. Good. Warm. I only had to wear one layer. That says a lot.
So what did I accomplish today? (enter sinister laugh here)
1. Got up, showered, checked blogs, dressed, unloaded dishwasher, made breakfast, ate my breakfast and my llama-bucks by 6:45.
2. Monkeys up by 7. Dressed (easy as today was Pijama Day at La Princesita's school), fed, brushed, combed, out the door all by 8:30.
3. To Home Depot by 9:10. Out by 9:30. Air filters, light bulbs and landscaping stone bought.
4. Cut back herb garden, removed old falling-down retaining "thing" and put in new beautiful and reeeeeally preeeeeety stone before getting Princesita at 11:20. Brought extra thyme to office staff at her school. Made lots of smiles happen.
4.5. Talked to Other Queen from Neighboring Village for about 15 minutes on phone. Called endologist who wondered why I didn't show up for my appointment that I had phoned and cancelled last week...where are our heads, people??? Come on, work with me.
5. Pick up The Young Prince by noon. To the Other Home Depot to try to find more landscaping stone, none encountered but my mother's day/birthday wish list made note of to La Princesita. She will not forget. Home by 12:30.
6. Fed the monkeys. Outside in the grass for a picnic in the sun. Could feel the luuuuuve.
7. Cleaned up herb garden, weeded, swept driveway, then proceeded to edge the entire front yard.
8. Student--AGH! 1 hour break--for work. (a-hem)
9. Back out to the garden to clean up for an hour. Realize the children are not outside, so go inside and yell at spouse for having them inside and watching television on such a beautiful day. Back outside, hula-hoop for a while (yes, I've still got it) and then in to make dinner (pesto pasta with italian sausage and salad--of course)
10. Eat dinner. Emails. Got another job in to finish up final details for transcript I did in December. Showered, dressed, printed students' work, corrected it for class tonight.
11. Watch Spanish news on Univisión while writing this and wondering what the f*** is going to happen now between Venezuela, Colombia and el Ecuador de mi corazón (I lived there 16 years ago).
12. Class at 7, then I have a date with a glass of wine to celebrate my wonderfully productive day. It is AMAZING what I can do once the sun shines.
I LOVE SPRING!
domingo, 2 de marzo de 2008
food for thought
Ben Stein. He is just a God in my eyes. I love his manner of teaching. Here is a podcast from him, about 50 minutes worth--but if you like his way of speaking and what he usually has to say, this is worthwhile. You will laugh, you will cry...and you will wonder what is happening to us!
http://wordforword.publicradio.org/
I can't seem to embed, but here is the direct link...you can either download, podcast or listen streamed from the site.
Enjoy! Let me know what you think.
http://wordforword.publicradio.org/
I can't seem to embed, but here is the direct link...you can either download, podcast or listen streamed from the site.
Enjoy! Let me know what you think.
the culprit
Soy.
Yeah, I've been a bad girl. Went off my diet for two days of PMS binging on really yummy cookies (no wheat in those but LOADED with soy lecithin) had a salad dressing that I KNOW was made with soy oil (although I was already broken out on my abdomen by then), ate ice cream and whipped cream with my merlot the other night (BAD) and paid a dear price yesterday.
When the shrimp issue occurred in January, my body equally felt like I had the flu; I ached so terribly bad--but besides throwing up shrimp, nothing else happened. Just ached. As was yesterday, my glands were completely swollen on the base of my neck and hurt all day long. Immune system at battle again.
All gone today, feel great, nothing wrong and ready to tackle this textbook! Sorry, Gym, you will have to wait.
Yeah, I've been a bad girl. Went off my diet for two days of PMS binging on really yummy cookies (no wheat in those but LOADED with soy lecithin) had a salad dressing that I KNOW was made with soy oil (although I was already broken out on my abdomen by then), ate ice cream and whipped cream with my merlot the other night (BAD) and paid a dear price yesterday.
When the shrimp issue occurred in January, my body equally felt like I had the flu; I ached so terribly bad--but besides throwing up shrimp, nothing else happened. Just ached. As was yesterday, my glands were completely swollen on the base of my neck and hurt all day long. Immune system at battle again.
All gone today, feel great, nothing wrong and ready to tackle this textbook! Sorry, Gym, you will have to wait.
sábado, 1 de marzo de 2008
margarita-laced dreams
A girls' date to Artie's last night with Queens from Neighboring Kingdoms was on tap. It was a spontaneous decision to go out on what was a really chilly last night of February but, as one who craves spontaneity in her life, I depend on others to impose their spontaneous spirit onto me (thank you, She-ra!).
We had a lovely night, got home around midnight (this is becoming a pattern...!), did a little necessary computer research and then fell asleep....
We had a lovely night, got home around midnight (this is becoming a pattern...!), did a little necessary computer research and then fell asleep....
The time was 2:00 a.m. and, at that magic hour the roof of Artie's opens up to the starry skies. It was no longer a cold night; we continued sitting at the bar, hardly aware that the six hours had passed. I look out the window and see that the Men are starting to arrive; first, She-ra's husband, then L's husband, and finally some really dark and handsome good looker I have yet had the pleasure to meet... And I thought, "Uh-oh, I am in trouble now." But then the guys decided to stick around for a couple drinks, then we left in She-ra's husband's super Captain Raptor Turbo Jet, of which I was to be the managing co-pilot and thus we would skillfully avoid the cops awaiting in the Artie's parking lot to check the 3 a.m. drinkers trying to make their ways home.And so it went...until my little monkeys jumped on me at 6:30 this morning.
*-----*
I was hoping all day that the headache I felt coming on from about 11 this morning was more a function of alcohol, although I had not imbibed in any amount that would ever normally give me the most minor chuchaqui. As the day went on, however, the headache intensified despite my best efforts to maintain hydrated and well-fed and to stay off the computer. As March did enter in a rather lion-esque fashion today with some strong north winds, I did get outside with the little monkeys to fly the kite, thinking that perhaps some fresh air would do some good. By the evening, I could feel my glands at the base of my neck swollen and all I could think is 'great, now I'm getting the flu.' It is starting to go around here like crazy. Although I have felt unreasonably cold all day, I am not running a fever and it is thus not a chill, and the intense headache is all that is getting me--no sneezing, no head stuffiness, nothing else. So I'll ride it out, take it easy and hope that this is something minor that just is knocking me down a bit for the weekend. I would like to spend tomorrow working on finishing more with my book, but that will depend on how I am feeling.
*-----*
I found a salsa school here in town that I am looking into for getting back into dancing. I have always wanted to learn more on a formal scale (as opposed to discoteque salsa, where I can hold my own) and I absolutely love to dance...and what better way to get to know new people? The last "classes" I took were in swing and in belly dancing, and that was almost 10 years ago. There are beginner salsa classes, which is where I would start even though I can survive on a dance floor; better to be taught correctly and have bad discoteque habits undone early. I'll have to figure out a schedule and two hours a week that I would dedicate, without exception, to ME. This will probably have to quite a few more years yet until both kids are old enough to be left home alone responsibly, but it is worth at least looking into as a possibility. Too bad nothing like this is offered through the gym; I pay a membership fee monthly but still go and never speak to a single soul. I need to be forced into interaction, as I can fall all too easily into complacency, solitude and silence.
I found a salsa school here in town that I am looking into for getting back into dancing. I have always wanted to learn more on a formal scale (as opposed to discoteque salsa, where I can hold my own) and I absolutely love to dance...and what better way to get to know new people? The last "classes" I took were in swing and in belly dancing, and that was almost 10 years ago. There are beginner salsa classes, which is where I would start even though I can survive on a dance floor; better to be taught correctly and have bad discoteque habits undone early. I'll have to figure out a schedule and two hours a week that I would dedicate, without exception, to ME. This will probably have to quite a few more years yet until both kids are old enough to be left home alone responsibly, but it is worth at least looking into as a possibility. Too bad nothing like this is offered through the gym; I pay a membership fee monthly but still go and never speak to a single soul. I need to be forced into interaction, as I can fall all too easily into complacency, solitude and silence.
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