Yeah! Did that grab your attention?
So it did mine, as Millie and Alejandro are finally making IT happen in a dreamlike beach bungalow with only the night sky as their witness on the only Latin telenovela I currently watch.
Then the Young Prince appears, face in my face:
"Mommy, what is the Boogey-monster?"
--It's the monster that lives in your nose.--I try to move my eye contact greedily around the big round head that just presented itself between me and the only sex in my life right now.
Lips devouring lips, arms embracing, both perfectly dressed in white linen that flutters like flags of surrender in the breeze of the deserted isle.
"What does he eat?"
-Who?
"The Boogey-monster."
-Your finger.
"What if I use a Kleenex?"
-Boogey-monsters don't like Kleenex.
Tiki-torches shed flickering light over the lovers as they embrace, Millie over Alejandro, as they profess their undying love to one another.
"So if they don't like Kleenex, what else to they eat?" He moves his head again between me and my steamy sex scene. I am starting to get impatient, hearing less and less of what he is saying.
-Um...they eat fingernails.
"And what do they drink?"
Dude, kid. --Booga juice.
It was the only thing that came to mind.
Morning came. Dawn on the beach after a night of what supposedly was passionate, deeply penetrating and emotion-ridden, "finally they're doing it!" sex.
And I missed it. All for a deep conversation, that could not (of course) wait, about boogas.
Gotta love inquisitive kids.
miércoles, 6 de agosto de 2008
yes, even Llamas like diamonds!
I bow my furry head and humbly accept from Citizen of the World:
To further bestow this honor:
I seek solace in peaceful places. I find Kay's made for weather a destination that, over the years I have read her, grants me a sense that all can be well in this topsy-turvy Life. Kay, much like Citizen, graces her poetic manner of expression with photographs that reflect the beauty of her life in New Zealand.
It is a crying shame that llamas are not native to that island nation.
To further bestow this honor:I seek solace in peaceful places. I find Kay's made for weather a destination that, over the years I have read her, grants me a sense that all can be well in this topsy-turvy Life. Kay, much like Citizen, graces her poetic manner of expression with photographs that reflect the beauty of her life in New Zealand.
It is a crying shame that llamas are not native to that island nation.
martes, 5 de agosto de 2008
Facebook vs. ???
Hardly a week goes by lately that I don't receive an inbox message asking me to "confirm friendship" or to "link up" or the other wide variety of verbage that the wide world of social networking sites employ. I admit to having a Linked In profile, as I personally found that particular site extremely professional and polished.
I can't say that has brought me any new business, however. Craigs List has done much better for me there.
Classmates, Facebook, My Space, Linked In--is there a huge difference between all of these sites? Do people actually list themselves absolutely everywhere and spend grotesquely wasteful amounts of time uploading photos, filling out click-and-select menus to answer questions about everything from their political affiliation to whether they prefer Folger's or Starbucks, and skimming all the names of their high school graduating class to see if their ex is listed and what s/he is doing --or, even better, if pictures are posted?
Not that I am at all guilty of any or all of the above...
Is the purpose of these sites, at least for the professional, over-30 set of us out here, simply that of a facilitator: to not allow us to feel so alone in what has become a distant and impersonal world? So many of us move away from our roots to follow an education or a paycheck, the luckier ones perhaps to pursue a dream. When our loved ones (namely our elders, but also our siblings or friends' family members) leave us, or word arrives that a classmate or former teacher has died, does this strike a mortality chord deep within us at this age, when we have matured past the immortality and idealism of our youth, and create in us an almost desperate need to reconnect with those ties that were so key in creating who we are today?
Do you participate in the online social networking scene (not talking matchmaking or dating here)?
For what purpose?
Have you felt fulfilled in your quest?
I can't say that has brought me any new business, however. Craigs List has done much better for me there.
Classmates, Facebook, My Space, Linked In--is there a huge difference between all of these sites? Do people actually list themselves absolutely everywhere and spend grotesquely wasteful amounts of time uploading photos, filling out click-and-select menus to answer questions about everything from their political affiliation to whether they prefer Folger's or Starbucks, and skimming all the names of their high school graduating class to see if their ex is listed and what s/he is doing --or, even better, if pictures are posted?
Not that I am at all guilty of any or all of the above...
Is the purpose of these sites, at least for the professional, over-30 set of us out here, simply that of a facilitator: to not allow us to feel so alone in what has become a distant and impersonal world? So many of us move away from our roots to follow an education or a paycheck, the luckier ones perhaps to pursue a dream. When our loved ones (namely our elders, but also our siblings or friends' family members) leave us, or word arrives that a classmate or former teacher has died, does this strike a mortality chord deep within us at this age, when we have matured past the immortality and idealism of our youth, and create in us an almost desperate need to reconnect with those ties that were so key in creating who we are today?
Do you participate in the online social networking scene (not talking matchmaking or dating here)?
For what purpose?
Have you felt fulfilled in your quest?
lunes, 4 de agosto de 2008
I'm only a PG?
This is funny. Although I used hell four times, pain twice and hurt (only?!) once, the Rater must not have reached the page that I talked about vibrators, body piercings and the lack of sex in my life.
Hmmm...or maybe it was precisely for that reason that I was only rated PG?!
Thanks to Citizen of the World for this one.
Oh, and if you want backlinks... (a-hem) you may contact me.
domingo, 3 de agosto de 2008
I don't really know how..
So we talked. As he looked at me with the "HUH?" look when I asked him tonight if he was taking the kids tomorrow as his day, I told him this is not working.
Of course, in the flow of the rather one-sided conversation we had, which included me telling him that my mother offered to sell me her house but that I don't feel that is fair to him or to the kids, we still cannot come to the conclusion to separate residences because, frankly, neither of us can afford to do so where we live. We just don't have the resources. So I said that we need to lay some ground rules, with an end focus on being separate residences. He agreed.
I said that, when he does not have responsibility of the children, that he may come and go as he pleases without "checking in" with me; in the case I were to need to contact him in an emergency, I have his cell number. Likewise, I said, I expect the same respect. I told him I want to be as liberal as possible regarding allowing him time with the children, that I don't want to be regarded as the "gatekeeper." That's not healthy for any of us. However, I can't have him expecting to have the kids at a moment's notice without a bit of previous notice. Thanks to considerations expressed over at Dad's House, I have made sure he is on every email list regarding children's schools and activities. I told him I cannot be held responsible for remembering every single detail, then held at fault if I forget something. He and I need to communicate regarding PTA, sports, and other events, which he would like to attend and which I would--and that I would be flexible if his work won't permit something in which he had previously expressed interest. Conversely, I told him that I respect his need to NOT have the children every waking minute he is not at work, and that we need to communicate regarding "off" time as well. We all need down/alone time--including me--and I need him to express to me, weekly, when he plans to take his down time vs. when he wants to have the children.
While living under the same roof, this is hard. I told him I don't feel this is good for the kids because they can't perceive well the separation we are trying to impose. But I told him that little things need to change to help this in their minds: for example, when he has them, that he is in charge of fulfilling their needs, that I am simply "not accessible". For a time, perhaps, I need to leave the house while he has his "days" with them if they are at home. But we ought to ensure that there is no confusion in their minds as to who is taking care of them that day--and maybe we need to tell them explicitly each day so that they know.
I told him I have no desire to ban him from activities that I do with the kids. If I'm coaching softball, he can certainly come to watch La Princesita play. He needs to be as involved as possible in their lives, whether or not I am involved in any given activity. I need to work on being more civil and less evasive. We need to sit down once a week and write down on the calendar who is with the kids when. Period. Like business. And consider it good practice and working toward two separate families.
So that is the gist of tonight's conversation, perhaps the most we have spoken in a good six months. I have a pain in my chest--must be stress. It is stressful having to always be the one to talk. I told him that he needs to tell me when he has something to arrange with me, and we can go to the dining room or kitchen ("neutral" areas) and talk about it. I could use a shot of something strong about now.
I also recommended the book (another Dad's House plug!) "Mom's House, Dad's House" to him for reading. I am reading it now, taking it little by little and letting ideas digest--it's not the kind of reading you can simply devour in a day like a novel. I think that being on somewhat of the same page will benefit us both and the children the most.
Most importantly, I told him I am willing to work to do whatever to make this as easy on all of us as possible. Will it be easy? Hell, no. Do I think I can make this work? Hopefully, it won't be all "me" but a "we" that will make this arrangement work for now...and better than before. I don't know, but at least it is out in the open that I think we need to separate residences as soon as financially possible.
Of course, in the flow of the rather one-sided conversation we had, which included me telling him that my mother offered to sell me her house but that I don't feel that is fair to him or to the kids, we still cannot come to the conclusion to separate residences because, frankly, neither of us can afford to do so where we live. We just don't have the resources. So I said that we need to lay some ground rules, with an end focus on being separate residences. He agreed.
I said that, when he does not have responsibility of the children, that he may come and go as he pleases without "checking in" with me; in the case I were to need to contact him in an emergency, I have his cell number. Likewise, I said, I expect the same respect. I told him I want to be as liberal as possible regarding allowing him time with the children, that I don't want to be regarded as the "gatekeeper." That's not healthy for any of us. However, I can't have him expecting to have the kids at a moment's notice without a bit of previous notice. Thanks to considerations expressed over at Dad's House, I have made sure he is on every email list regarding children's schools and activities. I told him I cannot be held responsible for remembering every single detail, then held at fault if I forget something. He and I need to communicate regarding PTA, sports, and other events, which he would like to attend and which I would--and that I would be flexible if his work won't permit something in which he had previously expressed interest. Conversely, I told him that I respect his need to NOT have the children every waking minute he is not at work, and that we need to communicate regarding "off" time as well. We all need down/alone time--including me--and I need him to express to me, weekly, when he plans to take his down time vs. when he wants to have the children.
While living under the same roof, this is hard. I told him I don't feel this is good for the kids because they can't perceive well the separation we are trying to impose. But I told him that little things need to change to help this in their minds: for example, when he has them, that he is in charge of fulfilling their needs, that I am simply "not accessible". For a time, perhaps, I need to leave the house while he has his "days" with them if they are at home. But we ought to ensure that there is no confusion in their minds as to who is taking care of them that day--and maybe we need to tell them explicitly each day so that they know.
I told him I have no desire to ban him from activities that I do with the kids. If I'm coaching softball, he can certainly come to watch La Princesita play. He needs to be as involved as possible in their lives, whether or not I am involved in any given activity. I need to work on being more civil and less evasive. We need to sit down once a week and write down on the calendar who is with the kids when. Period. Like business. And consider it good practice and working toward two separate families.
So that is the gist of tonight's conversation, perhaps the most we have spoken in a good six months. I have a pain in my chest--must be stress. It is stressful having to always be the one to talk. I told him that he needs to tell me when he has something to arrange with me, and we can go to the dining room or kitchen ("neutral" areas) and talk about it. I could use a shot of something strong about now.
I also recommended the book (another Dad's House plug!) "Mom's House, Dad's House" to him for reading. I am reading it now, taking it little by little and letting ideas digest--it's not the kind of reading you can simply devour in a day like a novel. I think that being on somewhat of the same page will benefit us both and the children the most.
Most importantly, I told him I am willing to work to do whatever to make this as easy on all of us as possible. Will it be easy? Hell, no. Do I think I can make this work? Hopefully, it won't be all "me" but a "we" that will make this arrangement work for now...and better than before. I don't know, but at least it is out in the open that I think we need to separate residences as soon as financially possible.
sweet slumber
And Saturday I slept.
Ahhhhh! Finally!
The world is a sweeter place when not seen through sleep-deprived eyes. Hope is visible, panic is down and clarity abounds.
The courage is not yet with me. I wish I could talk to my children's father and get the ball rolling. But I would rather practice avoidance right now. That isn't healthier, but it sure is easier.
Today the monitos and I spent six hours at the local 4-H fair and then, upon returning home I finished washing the sheets, making the beds and mowed our front and back lawns (the house is on just under 1/3 acre, and on a slope, so mowing is a rather big job). I should get some of those little goats we saw out at the fair today to come live with us during the summer; that would keep my lawn well-tended.
Tomorrow I am leaving for the day and not looking back. I will take my laptop so that I can work, but outside the house or I will end up being stuck doing all the meals for everybody--including him--that I should not have to do on my "not" custody time. We had decided last year on a split-time "practice" custody that always ends up leaving me with the kids when he is supposed to have them. If I don't just leave the house without looking back, that will happen again as he will not stand up for his time with them. That is just the way he is; not meant to be criticism but rather a mere observation. I want them to have time with him; both he and they need and deserve it.
It is obvious that they are all waiting for me to put food on the table tonight, so I suppose I must sign off to fulfill my role. I haven't had a chance to get to the store to get myself a nice bottle of red wine, so I guess I won't get my glass tonight. Too bad--the breeze is lovely, humidity is uncharacteristically low and the sky is *almost* the blue of an autumn sky we will start to see in September.
I usually dread the beginning of fall. This year, I daresay I actually am looking forward to it!
Ahhhhh! Finally!
The world is a sweeter place when not seen through sleep-deprived eyes. Hope is visible, panic is down and clarity abounds.
The courage is not yet with me. I wish I could talk to my children's father and get the ball rolling. But I would rather practice avoidance right now. That isn't healthier, but it sure is easier.
Today the monitos and I spent six hours at the local 4-H fair and then, upon returning home I finished washing the sheets, making the beds and mowed our front and back lawns (the house is on just under 1/3 acre, and on a slope, so mowing is a rather big job). I should get some of those little goats we saw out at the fair today to come live with us during the summer; that would keep my lawn well-tended.
Tomorrow I am leaving for the day and not looking back. I will take my laptop so that I can work, but outside the house or I will end up being stuck doing all the meals for everybody--including him--that I should not have to do on my "not" custody time. We had decided last year on a split-time "practice" custody that always ends up leaving me with the kids when he is supposed to have them. If I don't just leave the house without looking back, that will happen again as he will not stand up for his time with them. That is just the way he is; not meant to be criticism but rather a mere observation. I want them to have time with him; both he and they need and deserve it.
It is obvious that they are all waiting for me to put food on the table tonight, so I suppose I must sign off to fulfill my role. I haven't had a chance to get to the store to get myself a nice bottle of red wine, so I guess I won't get my glass tonight. Too bad--the breeze is lovely, humidity is uncharacteristically low and the sky is *almost* the blue of an autumn sky we will start to see in September.
I usually dread the beginning of fall. This year, I daresay I actually am looking forward to it!
sábado, 2 de agosto de 2008
mother nature's intervention
I honestly believed last night was one to be restful.
Emotionally I have been completely wrung this week. I can hardly feel anything right now. Lots of reasons, nothing really postable. Last night before surrendering to a few moments of slumber I linguistically deconstructed the word "tears" and the Spanish word for tears, "lágrimas." I find "lágrimas" so much more fitting to express tears one sheds. The term begins with a soft aveolar lateral placement of the tongue /l/ while "tears" sounds harsher, the dental occlusive forcing the sound out of from behind the front teeth with a force, like a gunshot. "Lágrimas" allows the idea to glide smoothly out of the mouth, much like a "lágrima" would roll down your cheeks...
And I fell asleep. Nothing like linguistics to knock a poor soul out.
Mother Nature, however, had other plans. Lightning, thunder, wind started up a little after 2 a.m. (I think...) which required me to get up, run around closing windows and then lay in my bed, watching the light show. In my entire life, I don't believe I have ever been known to have slept through a single storm.
By the time the cloudy sky began to show signs of light, the lightning passed. And I could finally sleep.
Perhaps I am part vampire? Nah--reincarnated sun goddesses and vampires cannot coexist in the same body. Too much essential, internal conflict.
A shot of Mama Llama-bucks (cheaper than *bucks, mind you) and let's just see how productive I can make this day. Lemonade from lemons, correct?
Emotionally I have been completely wrung this week. I can hardly feel anything right now. Lots of reasons, nothing really postable. Last night before surrendering to a few moments of slumber I linguistically deconstructed the word "tears" and the Spanish word for tears, "lágrimas." I find "lágrimas" so much more fitting to express tears one sheds. The term begins with a soft aveolar lateral placement of the tongue /l/ while "tears" sounds harsher, the dental occlusive forcing the sound out of from behind the front teeth with a force, like a gunshot. "Lágrimas" allows the idea to glide smoothly out of the mouth, much like a "lágrima" would roll down your cheeks...
And I fell asleep. Nothing like linguistics to knock a poor soul out.
Mother Nature, however, had other plans. Lightning, thunder, wind started up a little after 2 a.m. (I think...) which required me to get up, run around closing windows and then lay in my bed, watching the light show. In my entire life, I don't believe I have ever been known to have slept through a single storm.
By the time the cloudy sky began to show signs of light, the lightning passed. And I could finally sleep.
Perhaps I am part vampire? Nah--reincarnated sun goddesses and vampires cannot coexist in the same body. Too much essential, internal conflict.
A shot of Mama Llama-bucks (cheaper than *bucks, mind you) and let's just see how productive I can make this day. Lemonade from lemons, correct?
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