healing

Thank God for family and friends.

My brother-in-law, who was just here in January, has been a Godsend. G and his new wife S have been equally helpful, bringing a lot of life and laughter to our home. My friends here--P, S, L...have taken my children and I have not needed to worry about them in the least. For the kids, this --what do I call it? event? That seems neutral enough-- has been filled with goodies and sleepovers and cartoons, pop tarts for breakfast (they had never had pop tarts before now!), popsicles, rides in the police officer's squad car, lots of new toys and lots of attention. I suppose that is a good thing--perhaps the overwhelming emotional issues that follow such a trauma will, especially for my 4 year old, be offset by all the positive that has happened for her and it will not turn into such a horrible memory. She isn't afraid to get back into a car, and she does talk about the accident in her own words, and she even drew a picture. They were both held in their restraint systems so well that, even upside down, gravity did not get ahold of them so they did not fall anywhere except into my and MQE's arms when we got them out.

I am trying to wean myself off the medications I was given. I only took the narcotic a few times, which made me too woozy and I fell over too much, so I don't want to be on that anymore. One of the anti-inflammatories is giving me the shakes and making me drowsy, though, so I would like to get off of that as well. Perhaps this weekend.

When grabbing lunch the day MQE was discharged from the hospital, I saw a young lady come in. She looked at me and then pointed at her neck while talking to her boyfriend...then she came up to me and asked if I remembered her, that she had treated me and helped with the children in ER on that Saturday. I was so happy to see her. The ER staff do not get to have the luxury of seeing those they treat later on, and it was wonderful to be able to thank her and tell her exactly the blessing that she was to us that day, and to tell her boyfriend that she is a true angel, a daily hero who brings so much comfort to so many in need, and I was able to send my gratitude with her back to others who assisted us in ER that day.

My lacerations are healing, my soreness is starting to disappear, my bumps and bruises are less black-and-blue-and-purple. But, while trying to get blood stains out of my clothing yesterday, the memories of the horror flooded me and overwhelmed me and even though I am so tired of crying I can't seem to cease the sobs. I guess healing on all levels takes time. I just want to go on with Life now, but I can't yet. That's hard.