My Home, Chapter 1: 虫虫 "mushi"-"mushi"

I inhabited the 外人の家 gaijin no ie gaijin's house in 中之条. It was a small home that included everything I could ever need as a single person living in Japan: a kitchen; a shower; a washing machine next to my sink just outside my shower, off the kitchen; a toilet room; a 六畳 roku-jyou six-tatami mat-sized living room/sleeping room, and a storage closet. The rooms are measured more-or-less by how many 畳 tatami mats create their floor.

My home was north-facing, with a set of apartments twice the height and three times or so the length of my humble abode right behind it, so I could not depend on sunlight for interior heating, especially in the wintertime. This was also an uninsulated home; as in the photo below, there is a layer of plywood and a layer of 畳 that separated me from The Great Outdoors...and all the bugs and creatures that, out there, abound.

The lack of insulation in the summertime was a blessing; the house could keep relatively cool due to the fact that it received very little direct sunlight. I could open the 障子 shouji sliding paper door separating my living area from my kitchen and entryway, open all the windows in the house and a tremendous cross-breeze would keep the ムシムシmushimushi muggy summer air circulating.

In the hot summer months, I didn't have to endure too much lack of comfort. There was an air conditioning unit that I could turn on in my 畳 room if the humidity became unbearable; however, those times were rare. Spring and autumn were beautiful seasons, but the 虫 mushi bugs would seek refuge in my home when the weather became chilly in the fall. One such 虫 that I have now learned is called a "camel cricket" (ugh) I had never before seen. It had a round abdomen, no really separately-segmented head, long legs like a spider but back legs like a grasshopper that would allow it to jump...and consequently scare the living Sh--ostakovich out of me.

The first time I happened upon one of those "buggers", as my friend John from Perth would call them, I didn't know what to do. Was it poisonous? Would it bite? Ick...it just looks disgusting! So what did I do? I phoned John...poor guy had a bad cold but I pleaded with him, there was no way on Earth I would be able to sleep knowing that..that...thing was in my home. So I went to pick him up in my ミニカー and brought him all the way back to my place. Then I directed him to the 畳 room and said, "It's in there!" and closed the 障子 door behind me, as I can't stand the sight of murder.

So I sat in the kitchen and listened:

"uff!"

silence

>thump!>

silence

"dammit!"

After about a two-minute chase, John surfaced through the 障子 door. "That little bugger is quick. You didn't tell me they jump."

"Sorry..."

"Well, I couldn't get him. He hopped off into the closet and there's no finding anything in there." Which was true, as all my suitcases and things were all over in there.

So I took John back to his home in silence, trying to figure out how I would sleep that night.

I must have, and found that 虫 a few nights later when it dared show it's nasty self again. Ew!

I got it that time.

Love those house slippers.

Another one surfaced later that fall, in my kitchen sink. It was early morning and I had just awoken, opened my 障子 door and was going to take a shower and prepare for work when...there it was. Huge. In my kitchen sink.

I screamed.

Loudly.

In a matter of less than a minute, I heard footsteps outside and a subsequent knock. The grandmother of the five-generation family who were my landlords across the narrow lane from me had heard me scream and came running to see what had happened. With a trembling finger, I pointed at the kitchen sink and uttered all I could manage: 大きな虫です。oh-kiina mushi desu.

Big bug.

She went to the sink, looked in, glanced back to me incredulously, asked me for a tissue, and proceeded to take the bug in her hand and, ever so politely, bow as she backed herself out my front door.

That was humbling.

But I must have screamed so loud so as to scare away the rest of the 虫 because not a single camel cricket dared appear to me again for the remainder of my stay.