back to 日本: breaking my カラオケ virginity

Ah...カラオケ. The magic katakana script that, when printed on banners flying next to a building comprised of bunches of tiny rooms with one window, usually with a parking lot filled with people, could only mean one thing:

karaoke.

Pronounced "caw-raw-OH-kay", not "carry-okee" of course.

The great Japanese pasttime. I have to be honest--I never once sang カラオケ before setting foot in the Land of the Rising Sun.

I broke my カラオケ viriginity on the intoxicated evening of my 勧化会 kangekai welcome party, after demonstrating my high degree of tolerance for 酒 sake and my great love of 寿司 sushi and, moreso, 刺 sashimi (forget the rice, just give me the raw fish please!).

Perhaps my tolerance wasn't so high as I believed it to be, as by the 2nd tier of the party I was rather easily persuaded to pick up the microphone and belt out a version of John Lennon's "Imagine" that made my papa-chan cry. I had some formal voice training in University, a general benefit of membership in the University Choir, so I at least could hold a tune without completely embarrassing myself or those around me. However, as time went on, I realized that the カラオケ stage of the party does not usually begin until some rather unfortunate souls have already passed out with overimbibing at the first party...and those of us hearty enough to continue the party down the street at the カラオケ bar would already be drunk enough to believe that Brittney Spears trying to sing O mio babbino caro would sound great.

I soon earned the nickname "Mariah Carey," she who the Japanese equate with a great set of vocal chords (not to mention great, um, lungs--but my chest is hardly something that gets me much attention). I would be presented The Karaoke Bible each time I entered a bar. With a voicebox slicked over with 水割り mizuwari whiskey and water, Karen Carpenter and Tony Bennet would sound professional. "I Lost My Heart in San Francisco" was an oft-requested favorite.

As you can tell, the repertoire of English language songs was slightly limited.

As time went on, other songs came into popularity. "The Macarena" came to town during my third year, and I had my school's 校長先生 kouchou-sensei principal shakin' his booty while I stood atop the bar teaching everyone to dance the macarena correctly.

They liked that.

My sister came to Japan and broke her カラオケ virginity with a little Bohemian Rhapsody duet with yours truly. Nobody in that bar had ever heard that song before. She really got a kick out of how they said "Eric Crapton", also a huge Japanese favorite.

カラオケ boxes are very popular. They are little rooms that you can rent by the hour with a television screen, a big screen, sound controls and a sofa upon which you and your friends can sit, order "room service" of a variety of snacky foods and drinks--both alcoholic and otherwise. Then you sit and sing the hours away.

My Japanese became quite good while in Japan and, through exposure I learned quite a few popular music favorites, which I would be requested to perform. It felt to be a bit of a rite of passage, in a way, to be requested by Japanese to sing in their native language as opposed to yet another round of "Love Me Tender."

I still have yet to open my mouth and sing in the United States, except once at a private residence, where the hostess had a machine that rated you on accuracy and intonation. I found a Japanese song that I could sing, so guaranteeing that nobody in attendance had before even heard the tune. KomeKomeClub's "Funk Fujiyama".

I earned 10 out of 10.

I guess I've still got it!