wow...done!

All except for the last-minute jammies purchase I had to make in an effort to create a new Christmas Eve tradition, all gifts (and I mean all, Ho Ho Ho) are wrapped and appropriately placed either under the tree or in great hiding places.

Not that I've done a LOT of gifts. I really don't overdo it. I did, however, try to wrap things a bit separately so the excitement would grow at seeing lots of little things (socks separate from shirts separate from pants) as opposed to one box containing all...which is, of course, closer to my nature.

But this is for the children and I need to feed their enthusiasm instead of imposing my realism-borderline-pessimism into the magic of their Christmas.

We drove around the town looking at lights tonight. It was nice. We stopped at *buckies for hot chocolates for the Outback sleigh ride and off we went through the streets, "ooo"ing and "ahhhh"ing at the most impressive of displays. My 3 year old does an impressively accurate rendition of "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer" (Ho Ho Ho and all stuck in the middle) so he serenaded us from his carseat. I usually save such activity for Christmas night but, knowing all the food prep I will be doing that day, I am certain to be exhausted by the night and even today I could barely keep my eyes open for 45 minutes cruising through the Town, and it was only 6:00!

So I will turn in and prepare for a good rest. Tomorrow I will attempt gluten-free baking. I am terrified of this trial; I have absolutely no confidence whatsoever in the kitchen and can see it all turning out as a horrible mess of an experiment that ends in the gomi. I'll do the best I can. There were no more gingerbread house kits left so I bought the kids a gingerbread tree to create tomorrow. I'd love to make gingerbread angels and rum balls...the gingerbread I might be able to attempt, but I can't find gluten-free nilla wafers. Such is Life.

Following my cathartic outburst of yesterday I am feeling better. December is a tough month for me. I wish it weren't so. The dark gloom of the day yesterday did not help, and I was not in the mood to sit down in my dark office with my sunlamp, even in my new non-butt-buster chair. I had students today, and I feel better. Not ready to take on the world quite yet, but definitely better. Coping. My new jeans came in...size 7 Juniors. I didn't dare go for a 5. They fit lengthwise but they were just too big. I started to cry when I put them on. But then I said no, wait. I can cope. I threw them in the wash on HOT and dried them for 60 entire minutes on HOT and they didn't exactly shrink down perfectly to my size but they are at least no longer falling off my butt.

Coping. I can do this.

I am strong. I am Mama. I am Woman.

More chocolate, please.

Oh, and pass the wine.