I just deleted an entire blog I kept for almost three years, separate from this, under a different identity and for a completely different purpose.
Pushing one single button took the most courage I have mustered in a long time. Is it time to move on? I am not sure. What I do know is that I need to start ridding my life of that which gives me little to no return on my investment.
If only that is as easy as pressing delete.
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I have another blog, as well, under a different identity, and totally unrelated to what I'm doing now. I blogged as a straight person, and I didn't want to use the same blog to chronicle the story of my coming out. Too much explaining, and too close to home - family members may have had access. I should delete the old blog altogether, but I just...can't.
ResponderEliminarSometimes it is so difficult to move from where we are; to take that first step into the unknown; to move beyond that place that is so familiar whether it is healthy for us to stay or not.
ResponderEliminarIt would be so much easier if we could just click on a button and have it all disappear - start anew. We can't spend our future in our past, but sometimes it is kind of scary to leave the past and look toward today and the future!
I say good for you!!! The past has gotten you to where you are and now....
ResponderEliminarYou have the choice to stay there are begin anew. Every single day. You weren't the same person when those things happened. You aren't the same person at this moment than you were when you wrote this post. Its amazing to think about, isn't it?
*sigh* I can say all of this but I'm probably the most sentimental of all of us! Oh well. We teach what we need to learn, right?
Wow, do tell! What was your other blog about? That big delete button is scary but awesome. I had to hit delete on a friendship that had gone toxic. It took me 2 years to hit the button, but once I did, all these bad feelings lifted off me and dissipated. It's been over a year, and I have no regrets.
ResponderEliminarThat does take courage, lots of it. I'm curious what I've been missing though, I have to admit, it's my nosy side coming out.
ResponderEliminarOooo, I LOVE it! I've stirred up curiosities.
ResponderEliminarDon't worry; the other blog and all its stormy, juicy details were written entirely in Spanish--although I find Spanish a much richer language in which to express oneself by writing.
Now I'll just have to keep you guessing...!
(i still can't believe i did it)
Seriously, Arial, I think you're right. Too many personal readers and one can't be truly anonymous--the beauty of a purely quiet, anonymous voice, but it is also so frustrating sometimes, feeling like you can be so true to yourself in one medium and not in any others.
ResponderEliminarChange is always scary, TE. No doubt and hanging on has long been a favorite safety blanket of many a human. Time to figure things out.
T, we do change so quickly; points of view altered by something heard or read, or by a memory. In the scheme of things, I haven't anything really big going on. I guess it just seems big to me and I'm terrified of whatever is next.
Dads, it is so important to identify the toxins and rid ourselves. When I did my exclusion diet in which I discovered I was allergic to soy, I suffered horrible headaches for the first few days...withdrawl. Then it all went away and I was much better, than ever before. The fear of the immediate can often mask a greater good in the future.
OC, the above is for you and Dads! :)
Be well, all!