Teen bras

I know what you're thinking...

K is only 5. She can't be developing that quickly.

No, it is the opposite issue. Mommy is dis-veloping.

Is that a word? If not, I hereby invent it.

There were Olga 36A (can't believe I found them!) for $28.00 each, and then I found (insert celestial harp music) the Teen Section at Sears.

There I found 4 different colors of 36A bras, all with underwire and change-around straps for $9.00 each!!! And they fit me BETTER than the big-momma bras.

*sigh*

Who said there wasn't any pride in boob jobs? I'm all for it, if it will just boost me up to a full size A cup!

my real age?

So I guess I am "really" 28.4 years old...6.3 years less than my biological age...now THAT made my day--Merry Christmas to Me!!! Here's the survey. They email you your results based on a series of health and lifestyle-related questions.

http://www.realage.com/ralong/entry4.aspx?

I guess I was just bored...!

Christmas with a twist...

'Twas the eve before Christmas and all through Vienna
Not a creature was stirring
Except Mom with insomnia.

The stockings were hung on the chimney; one, down it fell...
I can't seem to make it stay up--oh, what the hell!

The children, nestled up next to Mommy all snug,
"Enough! Stop kicking!" "But I just want to hug!"

And the whole family trying to get over this cough,
To try to get some sleep around here sure can be tough.

While we waited all evening for the clatter outside
Of Rocking Santa, through the streets, on his firetruck ride

But he never showed up, and the children became quite sad.
And Daddy and I, with two disappointed kids, were quite mad.

We heard him get close, so near that we ran to the street
With the children shouting about how this was so neat!

Yet he turned a corner left, not right, I do fear
And thus, it turned out, he would never appear.

So as we awaited and tried to keep the kids mellow
I made us all hot chocolate topped with marshmallow

Reassuring them, saying, "Santa could not forget us!"
But it appears that this year, it was Orchard Street hiatus.

The question then: tomorrow will Santa have come down our chimney?
Perhaps...but with the flue closed, we should leave out a key.

We are hoping Santa does not follow a diet gluten-free
So he can enjoy at least one homemade Christmas cookie.

Yet my children, so wise in their years, know of Christmas the art...
That the Santa spirit is the giving that comes from the heart.

It is a spirit that long lives within and surfaces each year
Yet should not be limited to only when Christmas is near.

Yet it is only at Christmastime that such spirit is referred
to as Santa, to maintain the young wonder and mystery preferred.

So yes, on Christmas Day our children's eyes will shine bright
As they see gifts that appear with the morning's first light.

And perhaps there will be a little something in the tree...lo!
For Mommy and Daddy too...what a surprise! Ho Ho Ho!

Now here I am, wishing all of you *other* insomniacs so dear
A wonder-filled Christmas and a joyful New Year!

Feliz Navidad

The year has flown by, and here we are again, Christmas right around the corner. My daughter is now officially on Winter Break for the next week, Christmas cookies are being gobbled up left and right, and we are jolly and happy.

We have been successful in avoiding a great deal of the Holiday Hubbub this year, which has made this season all the more enjoyable. It has been refreshing to focus in more on family, friends and the New Year rather than what is next on the sometimes seemingly interminable List of Things To Do.

Professionally, I have my new in-home classroom all set-up and ready to go, with a little straightening up of Play-Dough, paper scraps and coloring books, with a couple of well-placed pieces of cloth to cover all those trite details. I am preparing for my next Perú trip in 11 days (who's counting????) and hopefully there will be a good fit with the school down in Lima. I am officially done at George Mason...and that does feel good, although I know that I will miss the students.

Personally, I am on the mend after my emotional breakdown of last month. I have the official word on my allergy to soy, plus I am to avoid gluten. I am now on a thyroid complex that hopefully will even out my slightly hypothyroid, and am treating my adrenal stress with a sunbox, a withania complex and a vitamin coctail taken with a glass of sea salt water--which tastes, suprisingly, really really good (if it does not sound good to you, that means you are not in adrenal fatigue!). Last night I slept through the night for the first time in weeks, and it felt really good. Today I feel like A New Woman. Just in time for Christmas.

Watch out, world. This desperate housewife will soon be desperate no more!

A desperate housewife and a Scrapbook Fairy

Here we are. She works creative wonders. I wonder how to creatively work. We're the perfect team! I love this picture of the two of us.

Thanksgiving Blessings

So much for which to be thankful, today and always.

Blessings to you all!

severe adrenal stress

Only because we always need to title our maladies. I guess that is good so that the root cause can be treated, not simply the symptoms which won't end up helping at all. So couple that with post-traumatic stress disorder and, my friends, I have some work to do.

So yesterday I took an all-day saliva test (yummy) that I'll send off this morning to the lab, the results of which should come back to my doctor in about 3 weeks. This will tell me definitively if this is adrenal and not thyroid, as the two issues mirror each other greatly, but hypothyroidism can result from adrenal stress; and if adrenal, which of two types it is for appropriate treatment. Today I'll start a homeopathic-herbal-vitamin regimen that could make significant differences, so we'll all have to stay tuned and see.

The only thing I do now that really makes me feel good is yoga...unfortunately I can't spend 13 waking hours in various yoga positions, so it is time for me to do more for myself than just a once a week class.

Regarding the ptsd issue, who knows. I don't want to talk about the accident anymore, I just want it to go away. It's hard to say if my issues stem back from the miscarriage and even my father's death...the adrenal numbers were very off post-miscarriage 3 years ago...perhaps it is something I have dealt with since puberty? Or just since Life started dealing me blows that my body just can't seem to process well. I don't know, and will probably never know that answer, but I can at least now try to do something for myself.

just a big wimp

It was, in fact, raining and windy and just downright cold this morning. One of those mornings that just make you want to crawl back in bed and throw the covers over your head...which is precisely what I did at 6:30 this morning when my alarm went off to go turkey-trotting. Then C awoke at around 7 and I knew that a decision would have to be made...do I go walking through the cold, wet streets or do I just stay home and row?

I decided on the latter. I don't want to get sick now, the week before Thanksgiving. I didn't want to set the chill from which I know my body would shudder the entire day by doing something that was supposed to be fun. Okay..okay...I'm just filled with excuses. But to my credit, I did get my butt out of bed and rowed my sore yoga muscles out hard for 30 minutes...in the comfort of my own basement, with Bob the Builder motiviating me on (Can we do it? YES WE CAN!). And I didn't get chilled!

I guess this means I am not the Oregonian I once was. But then again, I'm also not as young as I was when I professed my Oregonian-ism!

Up and running!

I have got my new enterprise up and running, and have had some contacts already, mainly for translating. It is exciting and it feels good to know that I am learning so many new things already, like basic html skills (very, mind you, basic!) and how to get that business card template just right to be centered perfectly on the cards...

www.languagelatitudes.com

Come check me out! Who knows, maybe you can use my services someday! (jajaja)

*--------------*

La Princesita, my baby girl, turns five on Saturday. Five years old. I am in awe at how fast these five magical years have gone and yet find myself so thankful that I have been so blessed to be her mother. She is truly the wise flower that I named her to be. She is becoming an amazingly well-defined young lady. I am so proud of her. Scooby-Doo will be The Theme of her party. She was permitted five friends to invite from her preschool class.

*--------------*

I will return to my wonderful doctor that I had found back in January, the homeopathic MD. I had six vials of blood drawn for various examinations last week and should be sure that nothing is Wrong. Since the accident I have not felt myself, to be honest. I am hoping that my thyroid was not thrown off-whack from the stress of the situation. I guess we will all find out.

*-------------*

I am making my break from the University more and more public each day, and feeling better and better about my decision daily. So many have greeted my news with such great enthusiasm. It is nice to have cards made up already, as everyone wants to have one when I begin to tell of my plans. The website was easy to establish as well, no-frills but I have finally added some photos to make it more "my own". It is just nice to have a web presence, albeit incomplete at the moment.

*-------------*

I am so enjoying my yoga class that I have registered to take it again on Saturday mornings starting in January. I am learning that my body can move and stretch in so many wonderful ways that relieve such stress build-up in my muscles that it feels sublime. I find myself doing more and more stretching at home whenever I have the chance, trying to find opportunity to breathe, relax, stretch and enjoy.

*-------------*

So that is about all the checking-in I have to do right now. P and I had a chance to have a nice talk, spending the morning together yesterday, taking advantage of the poor weather and the kids' vacation day from school to get them all together to play. Any excuse for good company...! S and I will have coffee tomorrow and will run/walk the local Turkey Trot on Sunday morning together...that is, if it is not raining. If so, then the local fire department can take my $28 as a goodwill donation!

Language Latitudes

Okay...I've got a working name, and will hopefully have a website up. Business cards are in the works.

Language Latitudes
Proficient, accurate and innovative Spanish language instruction, tutoring and translation

How does that grab you? :)

*---------------------*

Last week in class a student insinuated that I am a b**ch since I am not canceling class the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Of course, my department very generously gives each student 2 free absences each term to use as they wish with no participation penalties for those days...one of which could be used the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. As I am documenting the case to the Dean of Students for disrespectful behavior and upsetting the classroom environment, I receive an email from her, hoping that I was not "offended" by her asking if I was canceling that class. Little does she know...

I would never have even thought of talking to a teacher, ANYONE who gives me a grade, in such a manner, especially to his/her face, and in the middle of class at that. I am astounded that student morals have declined so much that, not only they think they can speak however they wish to those in authority, but that they have right to request that the classes for which their parents are spending good money canceled at their beck and call. I realize she is in the minority...but the fact that this has occurred goes to show how much the mentality of so many young people has changed.

One more month...and then I am DONE with the University!!!

back to the basics...

Tried for a new blog look but I can't seem to make it work out for me. Frustrating...sure hope my new business idea doesn't work out that same way. jajaja

Family has come and gone for a two-week visit, which was wonderful and fun and great to catch up with everyone and their lives. My kids really enjoyed their new cousin and all the time they got to spend with their 'Amma.

I have just now made it official to my department that I am not coming back for the Spring semester. I'm nervous...kind of feels like I'm jumping off the edge of the world.

Now trying to find a snazzy but simple name to use to market myself...SpanishSavvy? As an independent Spanish teacher-continuing ed., tutor, translation work...if anyone has any other great ideas, let me know and I will choose the winner! I'd like to soon get my own domain name and a website up and working, email, and publicity, business cards, etc. to get the word out.

Sigh...so much, and yet it is so exciting at the same time. A new personal challenge.

hitting me over the head...

It is so funny how, when God wants me to see something, He can make it so blatantly obvious as to what path I am supposed to take. Maybe He just does not want me missing this clue...and then again, maybe it is just My Time to have finally figured it out. I wonder often what takes
Over the past two weeks I have had various people in various situations, both knowing I am a language teacher and not, approach me in different ways about teaching courses outside of the University setting...a setting which has, by the way, offered great security of a job and a paycheck, as well as a way to keep my foot in my profession while being a mother and to get me out of the house for some sanity time each week while school is in session. One woman offered me a position teaching young children after school in a local primary school. I had to turn that down as I have no time for that now--also being that I, personally, don't particularly enjoy teaching children. Another woman, a Korean lady with whom I was speaking Japanese at the time wanted to know on behalf of herself and another friend if I teach any Spanish classes outside of the University, just for adults. Not two minutes later my daughter greeted a lady in Spanish and the lady responded back to her, then just opened up to me about how she is taking a class through the local Parks and Recreation program with somebody retired who obviously speaks the language but who does not know how to teach the language. She about flipped when I mentioned I teach at the local university.

Then it hit me while driving my children home.

Why don't I go independent?

I can develop courses, plans, for 10 classes over a 5 week period for adults. Easily. Of any level...beginning, intermediate, a reading club, a film group...anything, without the pressure of University politics, without the need to give exams...teaching FOR THE LOVE OF TEACHING, to THOSE WHO WANT TO LEARN.

I would need to maintain myself professionally, perhaps with two weeks a year abroad in an intensive language program, as such access would be limited to me, since I get that now as faculty at the University. MQE said that, if I can make enough to afford it, then sure.

Why I never thought of this before I have no idea...perhaps because it wasn't the right time. I have now over 15 years of teaching experience under my belt, in various disciplines, the majority of which is language, and can completely see myself succeeding with a plan like this. I am so enthusiastic about this that I would love to take the next term off and start to develop my business.

This thought has completely reignited a fire that was starting to burn out with the University teaching and the feeling that I was treading water and no longer going anywhere. Perhaps this is the direction in which I am meant to go...

...right???? I will gladly take any suggestions, advice or opinions...

Terrific Twos

I once read that it is not fair to get angry over something your child does if it is fact your own fault for having allowed the possibility to be fulfilled. I soooooooooo need to keep this in mind now that the Young Prince is two. This did start well before two, as in the time when he flooded the entire kitchen. And when he vaselined his entire changing table, hair and floor in his room. Today, in the minute-and-a-half it took me to wash out the poopie diaper downstairs and throw it into the bucket and get back upstairs, he managed to open and dump the entire $%^&*^*@ bottle of bubble bath (Whole Paycheck EXPENSIVE no additives no fragrance all natural bubble bath, I might add, specially formulated for my children's seemingly extra-sensitive skin) into the bathtub.

Okay, I left it out and in his reach, so it is all my fault, really, for permitting him the opportunity to further expand his world exploration activities. That does NOT halt the flow of explitives, however, that my mouth automatically seems to emit when events of this nature occur under my supervision.

Sigh. I am so tired. He is such a good boy, really...he is just such a boy.

news fast

In the past few years I have begun the custom of taking "news fasts". They are becoming noticeably more and more prevalent in my life, not only as my children grow older and more inquisitive but also as my personal degree of stress rises with the horrific news items with which I daily find myself bombarded.

Today and this weekend has been no exception. As one who always has a radio on in the house, with music to accompany my every step, I decided on Sunday to turn off the radio altogether, as the remembrances of 9.11 began to flood the airwaves. This was a tragedy in our country, a wake-up call from the innocence and very sheltered existence in which most of us Americans lived--and perhaps continue to live--and it also brings me back to a very sad and shaky point in my personal life that I almost daily try to forget. However, when my 4-year old (going on 15, I might add) starts to ask questions like, "Mommy, what is terrorist?" or "What does bombing mean?" I know it is time to turn OFF the radio and turn ON the parenting.

The events of 9.11.01 and the subsequent occurrances have inundated and invaded our private homes since. Maybe we have no right to expect otherwise--we have, admittedly, lived in ignorance for so long while so many other world citizens have had to awaken and fall asleep under the reign of terror. Neither do we have the right to pity ourselves. Neither do we have the right to drop bombs on a country that has no tie to this attack, sacrifice our own citizens and those of other countries who stand as guards of our own while paid piddly wages, when it has been precisely in the name of vengeance of 9.11 that this war was initially waged.

The current government states that we who are not supporters of the war are thus not supporters of America, not supporters of the troops and are, in essence, consipirators with terrrorists calling for the demise of the American union. This is not true. I am shocked and astounded at the closed-mindedness with which this Administration has dealt with post-9.11 issues, both domestic and international, and often find myself having to defend myself as US citizen when abroad or speaking with those from other countries. Yet this is not a situation in which the answers are black-and-white. We need, therefore, to pray for the ability to listen to the wisdom of other countries and cultures, especially those who have had to deal daily with such terrorist issues; to pray for the open-mindedness of our leaders to accept, consider and apply such wisdom; to pray for the dissipation of arrogance amongst our leaders which leads to a closed-minded, narrowly-focused and often misbalanced approach to possible solutions; and to pray for the ability to listen and act in an educated manner.

death of a hero...?

New York could have been bombed today and...

...the news would have come in second to the death of the Crocodile Hunter.

He was great entertainment, especially for the kids.

But what lesson have we learned?

DO NOT TOUCH WILD ANIMALS! DO NOT PLAY WITH WILD ANIMALS! DO NOT PROVOKE WILD ANIMALS!

Feliz cumpleaños

Happy Birthday, my darling baby boy. It is so hard to believe that, two years ago, I thought labor was almost over and I still had 9 more hours of 40 to go. It was worth every minute.

I love you and I am so proud of you. May this year be one filled with blessings, adventures, laughter, love and joy!

nothing is going on

I am not really sure how I can say nothing is going on, but that's kind of how I feel. Today is the first day of class and not a hint of adrenaline is present in my system. My bro-in-law comes in on Saturday and I feel neither particularly excited nor dismayed to have him stay with us. My children could run me over with their hotwheels and I probably would not even feel it. I think I've got oral thrush--among other pleasantries--and I really don't even care. C's potty training messes all over the house don't even phase me. He turns two on Thursday and I have nothing planned for him. It is hot and sticky and muggy and I just would like it to rain, to cleanse the air and perhaps my soul. The degree of apathy I feel right now toward Life in general doesn't even amaze me. I just feel like I'm existing in a state of nonfeeling. So...sorry about the lack of posts right now. There really hasn't been anything about which to write. I am hoping that the enthusiasm of being in class tonight might kick my rear back into proverbial gear, but even that is hard when I am obviously yet the latest victim of the Non-Native Speaker Discrimination Act in my department, no matter what my excellent (and departmentally recognized) teaching evals say. Have I hit my glass ceiling? For as much as I try to be a stay-at-home-mom and yet still advance even little steps in my career, I feel like I cannot go any further without either going full-time or finishing the dreaded PhD--which is something I really do not want. So who knows.

Time to get my eldest out of bed. I hope the rest of you have a wonderful day!

tagteam response...

Okay, Chief...here you go!

10 years ago... 1996, in my 2nd of 3 years teaching ESL in the mountains of rural Japan. August, I had returned home for my 2nd of 2 visits home during my stay abroad and brought 5 Japanese friends with me to visit my home state of Oregon. Although they couldn't speak English and my parents could not speak Japanese, a connection was made and they were friends for life.

5 years ago... 2001, in Sweden with my husband as he pursued his MS degree, me pregnant with my daughter K. August, I was returning home to find a place to live and prepare for the birth.

1 year ago... 2005, here in Suburbia USA (no, NOT Hanalei...rats). C was about to turn 1. Hot, sticky, ugh. Went to the Jersey beach house with S&R and M&P and families. Great fun.

5 songs I know all the words to... hang on, do foreign languages count? Tu amor me hace bien by Marc Anthony, More than Words by Extreme, Anata ni aitakute by Matsuda Seiko (and I ROCK in karaoke on that song, I might add...talk about blowing the Japanese away! jajaja), Hey Jude by The Beatles, and Cuidarte el alma by sexy puertorriqueño Chayanne.

5 snacks... 1. Green and Black dark organic chocolate with mint center. 2. Whole Foods Dark Chocolate with almonds. 3. Dagoba chocolate "Conacado" 73% chocolate. 4. my own homemade guacamole. 5. Kettle chips, preferably dill and sour cream but I'll take lightly salted or salt and fresh ground pepper any day.

5 things I'd do with $100 million: 1. pay off the mortgage 2. put plenty away for kids' education 3. send some to my friends around the world who really could use it 4. put away for my retirement. 5. move to South America

5 places I'd run away to: 1. Perú (duh) 2. Puget Sound, WA, USA. 3. Nakanojo, Gunma, Japan 4. Kauai 5. Capri

5 things I'd never wear: Bell bottoms, hoop skirt, girdle, strapless gown (not enough to hold it up LOL), unpadded bra (JA!)...sure can't say g-strings, can I, Those Who Know Me Best???

5 fav TV shows: a-hem..Desperate Housewives, Bugs Bunny Road Runner Show, Antiques Roadshow, BBC Britcoms (especially Vicar of Dibley and Appearances!), Funniest Home Videos

5 greatest joys: my children, my love, my friends, my family, my garden

5 favorite toys: my Mac (what a nerd), my camera (no, not digital!), the tools in my toolbox, my calligraphy pen, MQE's Ipod that he never uses so I have now adopted it...LOL

Okay...did it!

classics...

"Mommy, if C is just going to bother me all day today, then I want a little sister." --K, precocious age 4.5

fear of confrontation

I have always hated confrontation. I tremble for thirty minutes following even the most polite correction I can make to another if I am correct and that person is clearly in the wrong.

Take this morning, when I had to open my front door and politely ask the woman walking her dog along the sidewalk in front of my house, whose dog had clearly just finished doing its business in my hostas, to clean up after her dog. She said she didn't think he (for some reason I always think of dogs as males) did anything. I mentioned that the dog was kicking its legs after squatting, to which she responded that he always does that. Then, as always, I have to find some other defense to validate my asking this of her, so I produced my two young children and their love of playing in the dirt.

She went backwards in a gesture to look but didn't go all the way back to where her dog did its job.

It is not only this situation, albeit a common one which I must face often living on this street, but even with students, over email, etc. I am learning that I would not at all make a good boss because I do NOT like correcting people--although my constructive criticism skills have improved greatly with teaching. This particular event occurred one hour ago and my heart still races, my fingers still tremble and I need chocolate!!!

At least I am in touch with and am working on embracing all my character flaws, right? :)

my little striptease artist

It is nothing new.

C strips himself of his diaper and leaves it somewhere in the house.

The tease?

He puts his shorts back on to look like nothing has happened...except that he looks a lot skinnier due to the fact that the bulky Bumpkin is now off his tushie.

Oh..Please...let me have him trained by January. Then he can start preschool mid-year!!!!!

back in the throes...

"Honey, C just pooped all over the carpet..."

Panicked cry from the kitchen. I hear little feet come running, followed by the heavier, tired plod of Daddy's step. I step into the garden room. Sure enough, on the rug are two little spots so I grab the towels and the vinegar water and clean it all up, as I have done so many times before.

Funny, I was hoping to not have to be the one to ever deal with The Gross Stuff...those emanations of children that once would have me running to the porcelain throne with nauseas. Now it seems I am the only one who ever has to clean it all up.

Can you tell we are in full potty training mode yet again??? Once this one is done, NEVER AGAIN!!! I know, I am supposed to be enjoying this. As my wise Spock tells me, it is the MEMORY of these experiences which are much more enjoyable than the reality.

photos...

I have my vacation photos up on Snapfish. If you are interested in seeing them, I will invite you to access them (anonymously, of course) through the Snapfish website...there are so many!

You can email me through: furukawafoursome@yahoo.com

Malawi, revisited

What else to say? I can't cry anymore. I want to scream of the unfairness, the helplessness, the hopelessness. A man beating the odds in his country, bettering himself with education in order to help his country. And for what end? To become yet another statistic? To serve as yet another illustration of the disparity between 1st and 3rd world?

This is what we received from Jones' wife.

I would like to inform you that Jones W. Kazembe has passed away on 8th July at Mangochi, burial on 9th July at his home area Phalombe Southern region of Malawi.
It was ashort illness, he had malaria on 7th of July, during night I found that he is failing to wake up, to turn up the neck and even to produce the word, we take him to Monkey-bay hospital where they discovered that it was Meninjitis, due to lack of medicine in our hospital we transfered to Mangochi District hospital and he died on 8th at 4:22am.

Am the wife
Jolly

Buenos Aires, Argentina

I haven't had a moment to write in front of a computer, although I have been jotting in a journal ...sometimes old fashioned is the best way to do things. When I have been on the computer it has been to keep in touch at home and then only for moments at a time, to get email out then run. I guess that's just how I am when I travel...I don't take a lot of time out. Then, like last night, I will just collapse in exhaustion and sleep for 12 straight hours, and feel better the next morning.

And now I'm in Buenos Aires. I already did Iguazu Falls...incredible, even at 5X below normal with the drought currently felt here. I now await E's return to the departamento y ya...a ver la ciudad. It is actually really hard to sit and write this in English as I haven't operated in hardly any English at all since last Tuesday, and nothing I've experienced has been in English. My journal isn't in English. But I'll get it all out somehow, maybe just as captions to the photos...which won't be published until after I get back next week.

But I am still alive and enjoying my vacation very much. I've had a lot of good, necessary, reviving Time. It's been good for me. Hope not to have to wait 6 more years for another one...but maybe not such a big trip next time. However, I have a feeling MQE may not let me leave again!!!! He's going to be so ready to go back to work and take "vacation" from the kids come Monday...pobrecito.

Paracas, Peru

I made it...I am officially on vacation!

I think it definitely hit in the airport yesterday morning. I was the only gringa there for a while and got to talk to all the salvadoreños, and we had a wonderful time in the terminal awaiting the plane. Then the trip into El Salvador was absolutely breathtaking. The volcanic chain over which we flew was beautiful, everything was emerald green with recent rains and the volcanic lakes I saw were huge. As I sat in a cafe enjoying a grilled chicken salad in the San Salvador airport, I was watching Japanese anime on TV. I couldn't hear the dubbed cartoons in Spanish due to all the airport noise, but with Spanish all around me I was sitting there reading the Japanese characters on the TV...one of those times when my worlds just kind of collided...and in El Salvador, of all places on Earth.

The flight to Costa Rica was only an hour, and the flight to Lima seemed endless. But I finally arrived, and I got some dinner and got down to Paracas, a small fishing village on the coast about 3 hours south of Lima on the Panamericana Sur highway. Today I took it easy. I went to the beach--private beach but definitely not a pretty beach--took pictures of heron and pelicans and wrote and journaled and did some sudoku and watched fishing boats going out to gather their catch and sat by myself...not that there was anyone else there anyway. It was wonderful. I have just had lunch and am going to take it easy, go over to the malecón for a while, where artesanias are also sold and have a look around.

And I will try to check in tomorrow afternoon from the city of Ica! Hasta entonces...

stuck

It's funny...I have a burning desire to write. While I am out gardening, which I did for 7 straight hours yesterday and am now paying dearly for 5 straight hours of what were essentially squats...I can hardly move!...anyway, the words flood to my mind and I feel inundated with a myriad of images and words and language and it feels so cathartic and I cannot wait to get to my computer and get it all out. But of course, after appeasing the children and finishing chores and cleaning myself up, by the time the computer time comes everything has escaped me and I feel completely lost in a world in which I thought I had found at least some semblance of self-expression. Perhaps I am a pencil-and-paper girl. Perhaps I'll have writing time on vacation (right...). But the yearning, the burning, it is there, and I should run with it--if only I didn't have so darned much else to do. I am still trying to figure out how I would make it all balance had I continued on the PhD/academic track and thus HAD to write for my career. Pretty much all I know who have that life also have nannies to help with the children, housekeepers to help with the house, are DINKS or live by themselves. It would be impossible for me to live that kind of life. Not only for the lack of financial means, but for the fact that I cannot have somebody else in my house cleaning up my messes, raising my children and basically making me feel like I cannot run my own life. Somebody recently told me that we American women are "jodidas"...screwed...in all that we are socialized to believe that we have to be able to do. This is a mindset that, in me, has been instilled since childhood and is unshakeable. I was once approached by a Bolivian woman who, in complete innocence, asked if there was anything she could do at my home in order to earn a little extra money for herself. I know she meant nothing by the question, but I felt offended and insulted, that it appeared that I couldn't handle my own responsibilities.

Whew!!! So where did all this come from? Boy, Pandora's Box has been opened. I guess I have a lot bottled up and I need to let it escape somehow.

patience???

What was it I was just typing about patience?

Oh, yeah--that I seemed to have more of it in the wake of our beach trip.

Well, well, well...the more I seem to have, the more it seems my children, namely my son, find the need to try.

So almost exactly at the same time I was blogging the virtues of vacation, my lovely son had moved the little red chair from our garden room into the kitchen (two connected rooms) as he has seen Big Sister do oh so many times, find a Panda Bear cup, and stuck it under the filtered water dispenser of our refridgerator.

Where it stayed.

When I got upstairs to check on dinner I was stunned--to say the least--to see the entire kitchen floor covered in about 1/16 inch of water or so, as well as half of the garden room. As I frantically scanned the ceiling for The Probable Leak in our half-a**ed house, my eyes caught sight of the light illuminating my answer on the freezer door.

Every single towel in our house was thus called into involuntary active duty sop. Nobody had better be wanting a shower tonight.

It is only with the help of a BIG glass of Merlot that I have come to see the humor of this situation.

So...how many days again until my vacation??? SEVEN....AND COUNTING!!! (Do you hear me, New Zealand?!)

quality time

We just returned from an Independence Day weekend trip to the beach. Our friends R&S's parents have a house out there on the canals, and we went as one of three families and had an absolutely wonderful, relaxing time...sometimes surprisingly relaxing considering we did NOT get to leave the children home (!) but they are now of the age that they can play together relatively well. As P mentioned a couple days ago, these are the kinds of trips that these kids will remember.

Although I did not get to take the kayak out in the early morning nor go for a nice long walk by myself on the beach, I still found the time away from our physical home quite rejuvenating. My patience level is higher today and the children seem much more relaxed and willing to spend time doing something other than hanging all over me in the summer heat--or at least to a lesser degree!

The most stressful part of the trip was, of course, the drive but I chose to leave both days early in the morning, thus missing the holiday traffic on both ends. For our first road trip following the accident, things went pretty smoothly and our new car drove wonderfully.

I leave in a week on my personal vacation and am now practically counting the hours. If I feel this good after a weekend, I can only imagine how filled with new life I will be following 11 days! Maybe it will be noticeable enough for MQE to send me away EVERY summer for a week! (jajajajaja!)

my enneagram

Thanks to Sierra Sage for this link...nothing super-new, but interesting nonetheless...

free enneagram test

Oh...by the way, I am classified as ENFJ on the Meiers Briggs...

postscript

Yeah...so MQE came home and I proudly demonstrated my new-found skill...

and he took the two hackey sacks and proceeded to blow me out of the water with his ability to one-handed juggle.

Great. I work so hard to impress...

Well, I can do it both right and left-handed, so THERE!

juggling act

Motherhood is definitely a juggling act.

But I have decided to actually learn to juggle. It is one of those listed on my long list of Things to Learn to do Before I Die.

Yes, I am starting one-handed with two hackey-sacks. And after two days of practice, I am actually getting it! Add the other hand and a third sack, however, and it will all go to heck in a handbasket. But it is FUN.

So MQE will come home from work, see the house a mess, laundry not done and wonder what the HECK I have been doing all day.

Then I will say, "But look at what I can do now!"

He will think, "What the he**?!"

Unfortunately, with my clutzy track record I have a feeling juggling knives or fire torches will never be a part of my act.

If I can get this far on a Before I Die goal in two days, imagine what else I could finish if I just put my mind to it?! I must have a little too much free time on my hands right now, wouldn't you agree?

family blessings

MQE's sister and her family are visiting this week from Colorado. We haven't seen each other in three years so it has been a wonderful opportunity to catch up with each other face-to-face, see the kids, let our little ones get to know the bigger cousins, and do some local travel. My oldest nephew is 15, the youngest is 11 and these two boys are so good with our children. We have had a great week.

In other news:

33 days and counting until my big vacation. Can't wait! I'll have to blog that experience, pics, etc. But as I use a "real" camera with film, I'll have to scan the pics in once I return.

My mom and sister and her family are planning a trip out in mid-October. For my mom, this is nothing new and she knows our guest room is always ready for her. This is, however, the first East Coast trip for my sister, first plane flight for their 1 year old, etc. I am really looking forward to having them out for a week. Too bad they'll be just a bit too early for good fall colors.

We got to Annapolis yesterday to see G & S's new place. I am in love with their house. Granted, there is a lot of work to be done on the yard...but I love that part anyway, so I share in The Vision. I got to give a big poison ivy identification lesson yesterday--and S, you thought your yard was full of it...

We also saw the first firefly of the season two nights ago. I think that my sister-in-law's husband's trip was made with that single sighting. I was so happy we got to see one while they are still here.

Otherwise the grass along the back fence is slowly but steadily coming up...or was until I broke the garden claw I was using to rip it out (yes, by hand...we had already broken a rototiller on it) so back to good ol' Home Depot for another this weekend so I can finish this project. ...and hence the hiatus. With all the hard manual labor going on around here, my poor hands can't type so quickly anymore due to the blisters! :) I've had a week off now, so healing has helped.

Hmmm...what else? We do have a little tomato already forming on one of our tomato plants, and our squash and green peppers have blooms as well. Soon we get to reap the savory fruits of (my) labors.

And...Happy June!

a-rooooooooooooo!

Garrison Keillor was at Wolf Trap here last week and we went to see his show on Friday night. The red tennis shoes, socks and matching bowtie threw me--he so obviously loves what he does.

What a magical show. I have not honestly laughed so hard in years. He got a lot of good government jokes in, as there were High Government Officials in the audience for the live broadcast show on Saturday night--had to get the digs in beforehand.

It was most interesting to me to listen to the live show on Saturday night as well and note just how different the two shows actually were. There were some same songs, but jokes, skits and monologues were almost completely different. The troupe has an amazing ability to think on its feet and this strikes me as most impressive in humor presentations. The Old Crow Medicine Show gave a great performance. What a neat group of young musicians.

We laughed. We fought back tears. We howled. What a perfect night. A--roooooo...

a new addition to the family

Yes, we have a new baby.

She's a 3,400 pound diamond gray who rolls around on all fours. We are all excited to welcome her into our little family, and we are assured that she will keep us as safe as her predecesor.

this week's housewives

wow...

Oh, that just plain sucks.

What else can I say?

a new car

It was hard to do, but I did it. I just opened the door and sat in the driver's seat. And cried like a baby as wave after wave of flashbacks washed over me.

Then I got out and, eyes red and swollen, went to talk to the dealer. I think I have decided upon the new car we will buy to replace that which was lost two months ago.

I will test drive it later this week, just to make sure it's not a lemon. But this is the same type of car that protected us, so I am not going to buy anything else.

The body is a beautiful metallic gray. The only way to get this color is on a package including navigation, which I will probably never use, and it has no moonroof. The moonroof can wait. I like this car.

It feels kind of like adopting a new kitten after the dear old family cat passes away, a rite of passage we experienced a few times as children. At first it is hard to face the memories and one feels almost like a traitor--but the survivors must realize that Life will continue on and it is now time to invite a new member of the family in.

Isn't it silly to speak of a car, an inanimate object, as a member of the family? Perhaps so...but in the same vein it could be said that our last car gave its life to save our lives...thus deserving of such family member status.

7 years!

It has been quite a ride, my darling. Thank you for putting up with me. Here's to 7 more...!!! Looking forward to Garrison Keillor with you next week. I love you--Happy Anniversary!

da vinci code hubbub

The Christian Science Monitor calls it a "fictional thriller."
It is a marvelous book in which to lose oneself to a great adventure.
It is a work of fiction.
By the way the Church is acting out so violently and vehemently against this work of FICTION, one would think the Church had something to hide.
Come on, people. It is FICTION. It is not a basis upon which to found our beliefs. It is a great FICTIONAL adventure story.
I think so many have lost their focus.

I see it now.

Okay-I am figuring it out, and this, too, shall pass.

That used to be my mantra. I have since discovered others, but I think I need to go back to revisit the oldies and goodies.

I was recalling on Monday night after my prayer group when the last time was that I had driven all the way to the store, gotten to the parking lot and decided, to hell with it, I am NOT going to go shopping no matter how much we need food because I JUST DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYBODY OR DO ANYTHING so I just went home...which is precisely what occurred on Monday night.

This has happened twice before in my life--not incidences of not wanting to shop but a personal closure after two major events, those being my father's death 6 years ago and my return to the US after living for 3 years in Japan 9 years ago. Events after which I closed myself off from the world for a matter of months, with the exception of going to work or seeing my family, and could have cared less about what was going on around me.

I think that it is a good thing I have children because they force me to get out of the house even if I don't want to...preschool will continue, the springtime events go on and, whether I like it or not, I know that it is not fair to them to shut myself up at home...even though we do spend a lot of time outside working on the yard. I just have no desire to interact with anybody, meet new people or have human conversation except with my closest friends. I am so exhausted that I went to sleep before 9 last night after having taken a nap during the afternoon--and man, sleep is a wonderful escape!

But I think I see it now...and this must just be my body's way of dealing, of healing. Both of these events were followed by a major trip: about 6 months or so after Dad died I went to Machu Picchu, Cuzco and Lake Titicaca. 6 months after moving back to the US following Japan I left Oregon for New Orleans (yet another foreign country) for grad school, although there was a trip to Ecuador in there 2 days after I got back from Japan.

And I have another to South America awaiting me in the distance--it can only help, as it has in the past, to shift my mind away from the past, mend, and start anew.

this week's housewives

I hate season finales...and getting there. They are too stressful for me to watch!

I have to give hats off to Susan for being such an awesome friend to Bree. I saw a lot of my extremely obsessive, borderline perfectionist self in Bree and hope I am not still like that.

Go, Lynette. That's a tough one. Looks like confrontation comes next week.

Sorry, Gabi, but your housemaid is going to be the queen of the roost while pregnant. Get OVER it already. (but you're so darned funny!!!)

I guess the most hitting-home was the episode with Edie and Susan in the hospital Edie said a lot of things that gave voice to many of my personal fears--like the point of view that everyone in the neighborhood comes out to help when something horrible goes wrong isn't out of love but out of knowing that Susan is helpless.

But then again, maybe that is precisely why Edie is the one alone in the hospital.

butterfly girl

K is truly an amazing little girl, but this little detail seems absolutely uncanny to me...

She seems to attract butterflies.

The past two summers, all the time we have lived in this house, she has caught butterflies with her own two hands. When she was two, I couldn't believe it. When she was three, I chalked it up to her quietly sneaking up on it and gently grasping the wing. Today, the way she told it, the monarch just landed next to her on the front steps (and yes, she was there and finishing her lunch) so she picked it up. Of course I took lots of pictures. Then it went to her knee, and was completely content to just be there for a while. Then we decided to give the butterfly freedom so K brought it down to the rhododendron bush, in full bloom right now, and let the butterfly crawl onto the flowers. The yellow monarch seemed to want to gather strength again, so we just watched it, in awe of its beauty. C was squealing with delight.

And then it flew away.

K felt both happy and sad, she said. She would have liked to have held that butterfly all day, but knew that it was not the best for the insect and that it must be set free.

That can be such a hard lesson to learn.

I just held her for a while.

an official thirtysomething

Remember that show? Yeah, it used to air back in the days that I *never* thought I would ever be THAT old...

yeah, C, I can just HEAR you laughing, dahlink! jaja

Well, the joke is now on me!

I can't even reverse the numbers on the candles of my cake to read 9 years younger than I really am until I am a fortysomething (yes, I did that when I was 32. I magically returned to 23 for a night. It was nice). This definitely marks the beginning of A New Era of Life.

However in this, my 34th year, I vow to instead look at all I have accomplished in my 34 years and embrace them, instead of spending the year wishing I had done more... after all, back in The Day, that was the reason why I lived Life to the fullest--I never wanted to ever look back and say, Gee, I wish I had done more with my life.

With much more to yet anticipate, I am sure. So here is to a year of adventure and excitement, of sunshine and gardening, of ups and downs, of family and friends and love!

personality test?

Is this at all revealing of anything I didn't already know???

I will be back after Finals end...apologies for the hiatus.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

In full bloom

I LOVE THE SPRING!

The garden is in full bloom now, and my brother-in-law called yesterday from San Francisco, on a flight home from Osaka (he's a pilot) wondering if he could come out for a couple of days. Sure, I said, so he's here and right now outside enjoying the yard, the sun and the warmth with MQE and the kids. It looks so different from the bleak twigs that greeted us when we arrived home from Nashville a month ago, he was really surprised upon reaching home last night from the airport.

These days brighten my spirits and lift my mood and if I could spend all day long outside working in the garden and forgetting about all the other responsibilities that await me indoors, I would in a heartbeat. Last week that is precisely what happened. That is why I had eight loads of laundry to do yesterday.

MQE is feeling much better--so much so, in fact, that he is planning to be in Galveston next week for a conference, so that should be good for him. After that, I would imagine he would be ready to go back to work full-time...right??? I guess we'll have to see about that, as we're currently on the two-day-a-week plan at the moment.

C has the last molars teasing him again this week. He just turns into a mean, nasty little man and there is little I or anyone else can do to make the situation any better for him. It is exhausting--but fortunately it is for him, too, as he is sleeping well through the night. Oh, and this is week 2 of no more naps. Sigh. That was short-lived.

Time for class! Toodle-oo for now.

this week's housewives...

Wow. Little Scavo is going to learn one day that it won't be so easy to ask a girl to show her unmentionables for neither a ginger snap nor a fudgesickle, no matter how tempting the treat might appear! Although that was a great little writer's genius detail, having the babysitter sucking on a fudgesickle when Lynette walked in the door...

So, has Susan finally woken up and smelled the coffee? Carl needs to get his you-know-what together and stop trying to play her. I feel bad for their daughter. And say, where the heck was Edie, anyway?

Speaking of smelling coffee, um, Gabi???? Maybe you should start drinking some of that caffeine-laden stuff. That's what motherhood is all about, I have discovered in my sleepless nights, as have most of my sane mother friends. Sure, I don't care to propogate a potentially unhealthy dependency on stimulants...but reality is reality and being a mom is sinonymous to not sleeping. And that is just that.

Bree gets my applause for the night. She played the situation both with her father and stepmother and with her son very well--I look forward to watching further developments in that arena. I was also happy to see her appear at the courthouse (note, not in court--haha) with her hot sponsor.

colored eggs...

I remember a rhyme we used to chant when in elementary school:

Knock-knock
Who's there?
Big Bad Wolf!
What do you want?
Colored Eggs!
What color?

Then the person who was the Big Bad Wolf would start listing off all different colors until the color of which the other was thinking would run and the Big Bad Wolf had to catch her...boys never played that game!

There are over 200 colored eggs in our front and back yards today. They just seemed to magically appear overnight. Maybe it happened when the Starbucks Easter Bunny Delivery Service showed up this morning with coffee and pastries for breakfast (I just about typed breakfats...talk about a freudian slip-of-the-finger). Hmm...

Somehow K didn't seem so surprised to wake up to see eggs all over the grass. She knows what to expect. When her friends start showing up today, it will change. The Children's Hot Chocolate order from Buckies made her much more excited. C didn't seem to notice yet...he, too, will get excited once he figures out what is going to happen once the whistle blows at 12:30 today!

Good Friday

It is Good.

It is rainy, the sky is rather dark, but the grass looks so much greener with spring rains, the flowers seem to open to the raindrops as a chick opens its beak to its first wormy meal from its momma. The colors are splendid today, it is not a stormy rain but rather a gentle, spotty potsu-potsu at best, but this is enough to make me smile. Yes, Spring is here. Easter is this weekend. So much glee to behold, especially among the young, this weekend.

Time to sit back and enjoy the shrieks of joy!

pre-Easter blues

One would think that, with weather greatly improving, temperatures above 70F/20C, sunshine abounding, and flowers bursting forth in full bloom that only smiles and happy thoughts could result. This has just not been one of those weeks, however. Although working out in the garden each day this week, planting new flowers and ripping up grass for the new vegetable garden this summer, that has not brought the immense pleasure it usually grants my soul. Instead, the highlight thus far this week occured yesterday, when I decided that class should meet outside on the lawn instead of in the classroom. The students were able to amazingly remain on-task and focused on each activity, and the fresh air did us all a great deal of good. This impromptu change of scenery was facilitated by the fact that I was not, obviously, planning on using my stereo in neither class yesterday.

And there remains so much to do between now and Easter--it has become much like Christmas in that sense, in that it sneaks up on me and then, SURPRISE, I only have 4 days to get everything done. Fortunately for Easter Day I have no responsibility but to get the children and MQE dressed for Church, and to drive them all to M&P's house for Easter Brunch--we decided this year that, considering the age of our two youngest boys, it would be much more pleasurable for the mommys (not to mention a lot less waste of good money) to not, in fact, go out for Easter Brunch but to eat in instead. P is a professional chef by education, so all I have to do is bring the champagne for mimosas. I suppose that is something to anticipate.

Then we have our 4th annual Easter Egg hunt and potluck lunch on Saturday at my house. It is always quite an event. Fortunately the weather promises to be absolutely splendid this year, so we are going to set up the food outside in the backyard instead of inside the dining room--less of a housecleaning mess should thus result, right? We shall see.

With two doctor appointments on Friday to see how MQE's back is healing, the end of the week is really rather full.

I think part of my problem now is that I am simply exhausted. C is no longer napping, and is not sleeping well at night, either. For hours on end in the middle of the night he tosses and turns and whimpers and whines and I can't get any sleep. Plus, I feel mentally and emotionally drained. If I could just hide myself away somewhere and sleep for a week, I would in a heartbeat. But then...no meals would be made, no laundry would be done, no house would be cleaned and no diapers would be changed... not to mention my schoolwork! So I guess that an escape is out of the question.

Funny...we were just looking at a yoga pamphlet at our local burger joint on Saturday, and MQE just now brought down a copy of that same foleto that was delivered to our doorstep. Hmm...is this a sign?

there needs to be a word for this

Perhaps it is my job to invent a word...

That single word, verb, to describe the action of drawing one's forefinger across the top of the spiral of whipped cream sitting atop a decaf iced mocha (or input own drink of choice here), licking it off of your finger and thoroughly enjoying the resulting taste sensation.

Schlomalate? (shla' muh leit) Schlomalation. Schlomalating. Schlomalated at Starbucks. Hmmm...

Sounds schlomalatingly delicious to me.

a little night music

okay, a very little night music. But it was enough to feel good.

I never have the chance to pick up my violin anymore, but tonight for some reason I had las ganas to do so, and even with fingers locking up every so often coupled with the humbling realization that I just don't have what I used to have, it still feels good to be capable of producing decent sound, that could even be called music every so often.

My violin used to be my greatest passion. I am sure that is what kept me on task as a young person, the discipline of 3-4 hours a day of practice, the self-motivating desire to become the best self-taught violinist I could, perhaps a little more money for college. It also became for me an instrument of self-expression, allowing me to voice emotions in an uncriticized way; the pleasure this emotional outlet brought to others was also personally gratifying.

I went far, farther than I could ever have dreamed, with my violin, and our passion lasted longer than most. With time, however, passion fades as other interests develop, as one's personal realm widens--and I left my violin behind. Sitting in the corner, collecting dust, I would take it out only on occasion or when asked to play for a certain event in my post-university life.

Although my fingers lock up, my hands cramp after only about an hour of practice, it is nice to "fiddle around" every so often, and the music does bring me back to another place, another time in my life...is that what staying young at heart is all about? I am not certain, but something keeps me from getting rid of this violin and, these every-so-often moments are what validate my decision to still hold on to what used to be...

rockin' and rollin'

We had some thunderstorms pass through last night--nothing severe, and nothing like what I heard happened in Nashville--jeez, that is where The Accident happened. But enough to get the kids all nice and fired up right at bedtime.

The observation went so well, as always--I don't know why I always stress about these things.

Since I have a relatively light workload this weekend, I am taking advantage by trying to CLEAN UP THIS OFFICE. Organize, file, recycle, put-away in proper places...you know the drill. A bit of a pain, but must be done.

And that is about the extent of My Life right now, besides spending 4 1/2 hours at the car dealership yesterday getting a safety recall on the Truck taken care of...it is our only vehicle now, we need to make sure nothing happens to us in it as well.

Ah--something to look forward to--tickets to Garrison Keillor in May, kind of for our anniversary. We decided to go ahead and do it, but we're going to the show that is not the live broadcast so we can get better seats.

It always helps to have something to anticipate.

tis a week...

Between correcting the last class exams before finals, compositions and prepping for an in-class observation tomorrow, I am swamped. I am ready for a vacation...a REAL one this time. It will happen...South America, perhaps, for a short rato this summer? I can only hope.

this week's housewives

Boy, talk about the promos being a LOT hotter than the show...

I am so bummed that Peter (Bree's now ex-sponsor) is just that...and what a disappointing twist. An SA in recovery. And I thought Bree was gonna get some...and some hot at that. I guess we'll have to see what plays out there. I mean, I'm still hung up on Susan and Mike, for goodness sake.

Go, Lynette. What one heck of a deposition. It helps to be informed of the truth...and at that, all of the truths.

Carlos' face, upon learning of the mother's puesto with the Cowboy Rodeo, was classic.

Felicia sure had a way of crushing Edie's engagement party (but she deserved it...)...and boy, the rocking and rolling upstairs between Frank and Susan--well, we all had to ask ourselves when that was going to happen, being that the sexual tension between the two of them from the very first episode has been sky high.

Gabi and Carlos are going to make great parents...if they can come up with a better way than stealing the baby!!!

Quote of the night, upon Gabi's complaint upon receiving the phone call that their birth mother was in labor, and on not having four more weeks to wait for the birth of their baby, the comment of the "inconvenience" of the situation prompted Lynette to respond, "Welcome to parenthood."

And what a welcome that is.

spring exertion

It is in the 75/23 degree range today and Life is soooooooo good. K actually walked the 1.5 mile/2.5km trek all the way to preschool this morning...maybe I will make a walking partner out of her yet! I was truly impressed with her high energy and willingness to go without a stroller this morning. This, of course, assisted by the fact the C could stay home with Daddy. It ended up being really nice girl time.

I walked, with stroller this time and C in tow, back to get her this afternoon, then we spent a couple hours over at S's house, had lunch, worshipped the Sun God for about 20 minutes then trekked back home. It is so liberating to finally be able to get out of the house and walk without freezing to death like last week.

I do love Spring...and I do not mean to rub it in to those upon whose doorsteps Spring has not yet arrived. When we are drenched in our high-humidity this summer, you will then be happy!

spring has sprung...

Spring has sprung with flowers fair
zephyrs rare,
And a joy that knows no care...

I sang that as a child in choir and always recall those words at this time of the year.

The chill of winter is melting away today, it is supposed to be a beautiful day today and tomorrow. I can't wait to take the children to the playground.

Maybe I can even wear a mini-skirt to work tonight. At least my knees are no longer so black-and-blue and swollen.

I have four recommendations to finish for study abroad scholarships and a couple more details to iron out for tonight's classes. (Personal shout-out here: GO MASON!!! FINAL FOUR!..okay, so OBVIOUSLY I am just dreaming about living in the Land of Hanalei--who wouldn't?--but I have to demonstrate a little pride for my "little commuter school"...my students sure are excited! I guess Good Morning America is going to be there tomorrow morning...)

yawwwwwwwwwn Up way too late last night and up way too early this morning...do I hear Buckies' iced mocha calling out for me this morning?

Okay...personal for a moment...

Thank you for the prayers, the thoughts, the kindnesses. It all helps. The flashbacks have not stopped but are getting farther apart. The onset of Spring helps me to be more thankful and less bitter.

...and there is so much for which to be thankful...

...and yes, I do include chocolate and wine on that list.

physical healing

Yesterday was as if somebody had flipped The Master Switch and my body was back on-line again. I felt like I was operating at about 90% of normal again and it felt great! I can breathe again, I can carry my son, I can walk at a normal pace, I can talk at my volume in class, I can cough and sneeze, I can turn my neck, and I even had a workout this morning. I could feel the pull a bit in my chest while rowing, but it was not excrutiating. Progress is definitely being made.

The physical healing will assist with the emotional, I know this. It is hard to start to reconcile events while feeling so physically incapable of doing so.

My scars are healing. It is time to smile again!

la primavera

Good days and bad days.

I am ready to have more good ones than bad ones now, but the ratio is not yet in my favor. Going to work was a wonderful release last week, although it does hurt to project my voice as normal. I can't reach as high on the blackboard as I am accustomed. Minor challenges, really.

A 30 minute coughing fit at 2 a.m. felt like it almost killed me. I have never known the pain and the fear caused by not being able to breathe for such a long period of time. I want to feel better now.

Why does Subaru offer their greatest deals and savings before March 31st this year? I know why, I am just complaining. I am not ready to go and even test-drive a new car yet--not for a couple more months, until MQE can drive again, too. Why bother until then?

A close friend is starting hearings this week, not in this country, in a case stemming from a past presidents' regime. Could face up to 9 years jail time, but is innocent. I have seen the legal paperwork; the case is all based in speculation, but judgment is in the hands of a corrupt system.

I know from another friend at the IMO in London that our friend in Malawi is trying to apply for a position with them, to get him and his family out of his tierra natal. I hope that something can be worked out. He at the IMO remains uncommittal.

It is hard when you care. Stressful. Sometimes I wonder why I bother when all I do is estresarme por completo.

Lots of memories flooding me all of a sudden this weekend of all those I have lost--I hope they are still watching over me and taking care of me. Were those the angels who saved our lives? No...the priest said that we can't become angels, it doesn't happen like that. As if a mortal alive here on Earth could actually determine how Angels are created by a Supreme Being.

I have been lost in a huge wave of nostalgia, very much missing those from whom I will never again hear and yet--wait--it is like I can hear that laugh, that voice right in my ears, still playing as if they are right behind me.

But I turn around and cry, they are not here.

I am ready for Spring. I want warm temperatures, flowers and soft earth into which I can plunge my fingers and grimy my fingernails and pull the weeds and begin to plant anew for the year.

That will make me feel better.

erasure

Trying to get the blood stains out of my clothes.

It is my favorite shirt, given to me by my friend. All the stains came out of all the other clothes but this one shirt, in which the faint yellow of the blood protein left a visible enough shadow to call in the power of peroxide.

So I dab and dab with wet washcloths, all the stains set into the soft blue cotton.

Vigorous vinegar rinse.

Throw it into the wash on cold.

Drip dry.

The stains are gone.

Does this mean I should feel better now?

Does this mean everything is going to be okay?

healing

Thank God for family and friends.

My brother-in-law, who was just here in January, has been a Godsend. G and his new wife S have been equally helpful, bringing a lot of life and laughter to our home. My friends here--P, S, L...have taken my children and I have not needed to worry about them in the least. For the kids, this --what do I call it? event? That seems neutral enough-- has been filled with goodies and sleepovers and cartoons, pop tarts for breakfast (they had never had pop tarts before now!), popsicles, rides in the police officer's squad car, lots of new toys and lots of attention. I suppose that is a good thing--perhaps the overwhelming emotional issues that follow such a trauma will, especially for my 4 year old, be offset by all the positive that has happened for her and it will not turn into such a horrible memory. She isn't afraid to get back into a car, and she does talk about the accident in her own words, and she even drew a picture. They were both held in their restraint systems so well that, even upside down, gravity did not get ahold of them so they did not fall anywhere except into my and MQE's arms when we got them out.

I am trying to wean myself off the medications I was given. I only took the narcotic a few times, which made me too woozy and I fell over too much, so I don't want to be on that anymore. One of the anti-inflammatories is giving me the shakes and making me drowsy, though, so I would like to get off of that as well. Perhaps this weekend.

When grabbing lunch the day MQE was discharged from the hospital, I saw a young lady come in. She looked at me and then pointed at her neck while talking to her boyfriend...then she came up to me and asked if I remembered her, that she had treated me and helped with the children in ER on that Saturday. I was so happy to see her. The ER staff do not get to have the luxury of seeing those they treat later on, and it was wonderful to be able to thank her and tell her exactly the blessing that she was to us that day, and to tell her boyfriend that she is a true angel, a daily hero who brings so much comfort to so many in need, and I was able to send my gratitude with her back to others who assisted us in ER that day.

My lacerations are healing, my soreness is starting to disappear, my bumps and bruises are less black-and-blue-and-purple. But, while trying to get blood stains out of my clothing yesterday, the memories of the horror flooded me and overwhelmed me and even though I am so tired of crying I can't seem to cease the sobs. I guess healing on all levels takes time. I just want to go on with Life now, but I can't yet. That's hard.

guardian angels

Never drive faster than your guardian angels can fly.

Horrible accident. Outside Nashville. 1:13 p.m. Excellent weather conditions, heavy traffic, possibly a heavy pocket of traffic.

Overtaking big white car, SUV? Pickup? Something big that did not see us on its left overtaking with traffic.

Oh God, it is coming into our lane.
Honk
HOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNK. I'm trying but they aren't responding.

THEY ARE GOING TO HIT US

Split second decision. Do I let them hit us where my baby is or swerve to miss. I could hit gravel, small shoulder, if I swerve, and I will lose control. WHAT DO I DO???????????????

I swerve.

We set off in a spin.
The only think I can think is relax relax relax relax relax the most relax people do not get hurt in auto accidents relax relax relax

spin spin spin
airbags inflate.
my sunglasses fall off
we are upside down
everything has stopped
flurry of motion we try to get out realizing we are upside down I am stuck in my seatbelt gotta keep my shoes on my window shattered as we landed so I crawl out of seatbelt and out of window I want my purse OH MY GOD someone is yelling FIRE THE CAR IS ON FIRE WE HAVE TO GET MY BABIES OUT I get K and MQE gets C somehow and we rush to a safe place.

They get the fire out, people holding me down saying I am terrible bruised on my neck and need to stay still. I hear MQE say his back hurts his back hurts and that he wants to sleep. We are separated I have the children they look bloody but they are uninjured they are holding me down getting me a phone I need my purse someone runs to get my purse and finds the diaper bag NOT THAT ONE, IT'S ON THE DRIVER'S SIDE and someone finds it and gets it and I can call our friends in Memphis to tell them what happened and the EMT shows up and fire department and police making sure we are lucid. They slap a collar on my neck OUCH that hurts my skin feels so raw My babies are okay. Constant questions, were you wearing seatbelts were the children buckled in, of course I say, praising carseat installation clinics at the Hillsboro OR hospital. Praising Subaru for making a car that gave its life to keep us safe. Praising God for watching us.

Children must go in ambulance first Mommy is strapped to stretcher K is good C is crying of course, they have stuffed animals for them in the ambulance, he takes my blood pressure and asks if I am alive, because my bp is so low following such a major trauma. The kids are having fun and I chat with the EMT and thank him for being the hero that he is.

We get admitted to ER, not the kids but Mommy and Daddy and we arrive in separate ambulances and I don't know where MQE is and I am stuck strapped to the stretcher for what seemed like forever and I can't make any telephone calls and am trying to keep C from getting into everything in the room but my attempts are futile but the nurses are wonderful and come and help and bring the children popsicles and take them on ER tours and I have head and neck and jaw xrays and they all come back just fine but with a chest wall injury and lots of bumps bruises scratches burns. Word comes back that MQE has a broken vertebra in his back and is being wheeled off to CT scan and I am beside myself and God knows how we made it through the past few days waiting for MQE to be released from the hospital, I am not capable of carrying C and thus couldn't leave the hotel room by myself and F came from Memphis to help out on Sunday and I called Subaru and Safety First/Cosco to tell them that their products saved my family's lives and we were going to fly home but all flights had been cancelled so our friend and my brother-in-law flew in and drove us home, where we arrived safely at 2 in the morning.

Eyewitness reports said that we were cut off, and that we flipped three times before landing upside down. The car did not show hardly any evidence of roof damage--we could open the two rear doors with no problem at the towing yard on Sunday. We will be buying another Subaru--it proved its weight in gold, in life, to us.

The one who "cut us off", or caused me to have to swerve, fled the scene.

We are so lucky to be alive.

the bayou crud

The countdown is ON! One more day until Spring Break OFFICIALLY begins!

Ironically, I again have absolutely no voice. The crud that the kids had last week caught MQE and I, and I have been left with it settling in my throat. How to teach two classes tonight, I do not know, but they will be talking much more than I will--definitely a plus in a foreign language classroom.

During our time living in N'awlins, we would call this late-winter/early spring virus the "bayou crud"...quite fitting, it seemed, as the foggy, wet, humid mornings would just seem to settle in our bodies and, yes, I would lose my voice and that was that. Maybe this is a Bayou curse...even if you move away from N'awlins, it will still come and find you...

I read somewhere that those born under the Taurus sign have as their sensitive body area their throats and necks. It said that many Taureans are good singers (I can hold a tune) and have beautiful, long necks (often I have felt my neck is a little too long, but we are our own worst critics, are we not?) and that they suffer from many issues in their throats as a result--and I have been losing my voice at least a couple times a year now since puberty. Not that I believe necessarily in the astrology of physiological phenomena, but it's fun and very interesting when it corresponds.

Okay, Baby is up and awake. I have to clean the house up a bit, as a student is coming over at noon today to take an exam that he missed last week. Temperatures are up...it is getting to be Spring! I saw crocuses at the point of bursting into bloom yesterday and my heart leapt for joy. I love Spring!

racing against the clock

I haven't blogged for the past couple of days because I was afraid of what My Life would sound like. I suppose it is time to face reality. The headache eased up and did not end up being the humdinger that it sometimes turns into. However, my new doc. and I are watching things closely and clocking things and since she seems to be convinced that I am over-hormonal, perhaps a little more control in that department will help. We are taking things slowly and trying to go as naturally as possible. Baby steps, right?

It always amazes me that, for as much or a little as I plan my classes, they always seem to go off without a hitch. I spent the entire weekend working on correcting exams, checking homework and putting in much more time and effort than I really ought to, that I left my lesson planning for the week on the back burner. It isn't like I haven't taught these same lessons before, but I always like to enter class with precisely what it is I want my students getting out of the class that night forefront in my mind. I have the perfect music chosen, the perfect Felipe-ismos to edit, and the activities usually flow well for such short (relatively speaking) class periods. So I pretty much put my energies into getting midterm grade notifications ready and sacrificed on the lesson planning today...and both classes just rocked. It never ceases to amaze me how, when it is meant to be, it just really is meant to be. I am merely a conduit. Of course, those who are flunking are freaking out, and those who are surprisingly earning a B+ or an A- are a step away from kissing my feet...and I wish I were exaggerating. All midterm work is due by Thursday. I am going to be SWAMPED on Thursday night. Although I wanted to post the midterm grades on Friday before leaving on our Spring Break, I might have to actually bring work on vacation with me in order to post grades once I return instead.

The hard part of all this has been the kids. Both were down with a cold this weekend, and C's congestion is, I am convinced, due to heavy-duty teething on his last four molars. He is just miserable, won't let me even shower without standing outside the door banging his head on the door and screaming, and trying to get into my office here at home to arrange papers, input grades, etc. has to wait until 10 or so at night, at which time I am so tired I can hardly see straight since I have been up since 5 a.m....yes, with him. How does one spell exhaustion? M-O-M-M-Y

Before class tonight I had another dream visit from two different ex-students from my advanced course last term. One had requested from me an academic recommendation letter for a scholarship for Study Abroad this summer, which I had completed and was able to get to her (yes, one thing checked OFF the list, thank you very much!). The other was one of my native/heritage speakers who I had to teach to write NOT how she speaks, and the progress she made over the course of last term was marked. I don't say this to be boastful nor to blow my own proverbial horn. It is just so nice to hear that my class is so fondly remembered by those who took me--she mentioned the small group of 5 of them who are taking another requirement for their major together gather before class or at break and remember back to some of my lessons, and I was very happy to learn that the 302 I taught, she personally feels, greatly prepared her for the heavy-duty literature and writing courses she is currently taking. Again, I am merely the conduit. I also learned so much in that course, and hope that I can teach it again next fall. The workload is great, but the motivation is high. I am not so challenged this term and am thus suffering from a bit of lack of motivation. I would hope my current students cannot notice this, however--I have a feeling I am doing just fine.

On top of it all...It is just really a nice feeling when ex-students come back to visit and the first thing they do is give me a huge hug. This earnest display of affection is completely mutual--I can count on one hand how many ex-students I would never want to see again.

Now to get through the rest of the week, clean up the house, prepare some meals, pack and get ready to leave on Friday night.

Yes, just waiting for Spring Break...!

down for the count?

The kids seem a bit better today than yesterday, although still quite "goopy" thus we really don't want to be taking them out in public. There is nothing that turns others off more than seeing children with goopy noses. Yuck! At least, I know I don't like that! Now, of course, I have yet another one of My Headaches...they get really old. Although they feel like sinus, I really do not suffer from them when pregnant or nursing children, which leads me to believe that they are all hormonally intertwined somehow--which, in turn, just frustrates me all the more. So of course, the worst thing I could be doing now is typing on the computer...and yet, here I am. It is a break from lesson planning, however. I, of course, cheated and just took a two hour siesta--what an incredible luxury, only afforded to me if my headache lands me on a weekend when MQE is home.

Somebody did stop by to look at the Bug today, and MQE and he were standing out there for a while talking. He said he might be by later on this afternoon with his wife...if his wife is anything like me, we shall see about that! It is a definite men-and-old-cars thing. This, by the way, is a 1961 black cloth-top VW Bug. It's actually in pretty good condition, especially when considering all the money we have invested in upkeep. It was well-loved by MQE, and I enjoyed it in our BC (Before Children) days, but now it is a drain on the budget and it can't really haul the kids, so it is now time to bid it adieu. I also refuse to become one of those only-two-drivers-in-the-family-but-we-have-three-cars type of people. It just sends a bad message...you may decide which message that might be.

One more week until Spring Break...do you think I am going to make it that long??? Am taking bets...!

Girl's Day

On my other site

nakanojofurusato.blogspot.com

I speak of the hina matsuri, Girl's Day, on 3 March.

I am going to work on using more photos on my site. I think I've figured some things out...just need to do some scanning. All the pictures I seem to take anymore are of the kids--which is fine in its own right, but not when trying to maintain some degree of decent anonymity (right, chiefbiscuit?!). Always looking out to protect my family.

C has caught a cold, the pobrecito. And this week I have just been a terrible mother, with so many tests to grade and papers to correct--I held him all night long and I think he has had a good sleep thanks to that. Spring Break starts next Friday for me...and I am soooo ready for the break. I just hope we all aren't sick...THAT would be just perfect, now, wouldn't it?

Today is supposed to be cold. I think I will take K out for a girls' date. We haven't had a girls' date in a few weeks. I find that this reconnecting time is good for the two of us, and hopefully we can continue to make this a priority in our lives for years and years to come. I need to do some shopping, anyway--get two birds with one stone.

Uh-oh...C is screaming...has discovered I am not there anymore. Mommy time now officially OVER... hinamatsuri post will have to wait a while...

baby boy kisses

I have two very cuddly children. I don't know how it is that I have been blessed with cuddlers, as I am a cuddly person and have always craved such physical intimacy throughout my life. I did not grow up in a particularly cuddly family; I remember my mother often saying "Don't hang on me!" This is not a judgment--instead, this is just a statement of differing personalities that I have come to respect.

I know that my children will not be young forever, they will one day push me and my cuddling efforts away and that day will break my heart. I have thus vowed to get as much as I can as long as this physical manifestation of love among my children is so freely given and shared.

Putting C down to sleep at night brings me great pleasure. Now that he has a Big Boy Bed, I no longer have to sit on the other side of his wooden bars, imprisioning him for his safety in his crib. Instead I can lay down with him, allowing him to cuddle up with me, sharing my warmth and my scent, and be peaceful together. He will raise his head, look at me with his big eyes and kiss me all over my face, saying "ma, ma, ma" with each big smooch. K is just as loveable, but easier to put down to sleep, so she usually gets Daddy cuddle time--if still awake after C falls into dreamland, I will go to her and cuddle up and she will be asleep usually within minutes.

I was never allowed in my parents' bed when growing up. I think my sister was, or perhaps that is something she developed when older--I remember her and Mom together following Dad's death. One of my greatest joys is having my children join me at some point during the night if they feel so motivated. C might wake up with night terrors or just whimpers, and I still go and get him as he is not always aware he can just slip off his bed and pitter-patter into my room. K will come right in if she awakes during the night and cuddle right up with C on his other side, to "protect him from falling off the bed"...she is very good big sister. I awake early in the morning and, when I can see the two of them cuddling together I am brought great peace. Hopefully this will be a small step in beginning to foment a lifetime of mutual support, friendship, interdependency and love between siblings that will carry on long after I have left this world behind.

bags of maize, vol. 2

MQE went to the store on Friday and purchased 7 cans of Spam, 7 cans of beans, 7 cans of fish and two bags of corn. This totaled USD$55.00. He then proceeded to take this to the post office and asked them to tell him how much it would cost to send this to J in Malawi, and to make sure that he received it (requiring registered mail--certainly shipping protein-laden food to a famine-stricken country is not going to guarantee that the shipment will ever reach the intended recipient, correct?). The total came to just under USD$800.00!!! 800 f*&^%$#@!g dollars, excuse my expletives. Just to ship that amount of food without a registered receipt would come to USD$300.00.

For perspective's sake, keep in mind that the average yearly salary in Malawi is USD$200.00.

It is thus a better-spent penny if we simply wire him money each week for, yes, bags of maize instead of trying to send him food that could help him, his family and perhaps his neighbors more.

This, again, has me sick. Why does it need to be so damned difficult to feed somebody who is hungry? Why does The System have to make it so difficult for us to help somebody we want to help without paying off a charity organization's overhead and without guarantee that our personal friend will ever experience any benefit?

My heart hurts and my head aches.

mardi gras mambo

MQE and I met and married in N'awlins. I was a grad student at Tulane U., and he was on a three year voluntary recall to active duty with the Navy. The last time my family was all together was in N'awlins for our wedding..six months after which my father died, slipping away also while I was in N'awlins. I was honored to be a part of a pretty dynamic graduate department at Tulane, extremely humbled in the experience, and made some of the closest friends I have ever made in my life while there. During my first Mardi Gras, I lived two blocks off of the Vieux Carré, and while madly typing away on a paper for class on Lundi Gras I heard gunshots; my next door neighbor was shot and killed in a drunken argument with a "friend". I was waist-deep in a current of water on Broadway Street in a tropical storm, trying to find my car that was flooded to the steering wheel, dodging street-kayaking fraternity boys along the way. Two weeks later, MQE and I were in that same car, just returned to us, evacuating to Memphis a category-5 Hurricane Georges that, in the end, turned east at the last moment and slammed Mobile instead. We experienced days with no water, what was at times sporadic electricity, life next to the Audubon Tavern II--as well as the charm and the history that St. Charles Avenue, the Audubon Park and Zoo, the Garden District, the waterfront, and the various cemetaries offer to all. The Vieux Carré Ghost tours, the Ann Rice goth groupies, "I can tell y'all where ya gotcho shoes", beignets at the Café Du Monde, Masses at St. Mary's of the Ursuline Convent, endless walks along the Mississippi River, the stark realization that the tops of the houses are actually lower than the level of the water on the other side of the levees, knowing that drunk drivers are the only who drive straight because all sober people know where to swerve to miss all the potholes, the drive-through daiquiri stands, Jazz Fest in its sweltering sweaty dusty glory, great culinary delights found in Jaquimos Lola's Mona's Nirvana--our favorites--, Saturday morning bagel dates at CC's on the corner of Magazine and Jefferson, gay pride, Louis Armed-and-Strong Park...all of these images contributed to the cacophony of memories that inundated us as we watched in horror as this city, where we met and fell love, that witnessed so many of our huge Life Changes, filled with water, what I remember being our greatest fear.

We experienced three Mardi Gras celebrations during our years in N'awlins. We were fortunate to get to know wonderful people who lived right on the corner of Bourbon and St. Ann, so we could experience Mardi Gras as it was meant to be experienced according to the locals--as a part of a family. We were embraced by the city, and have never yet forgotten its kindnesses.

This week I wear my beads with great pride. I have earned the right to wear them. I wear them for all those friends of ours who are still there trying to put their lives back together. Laissez les bons temps rouler, y'all! I will do a second line in your honor, and teach my children to do the same.

farm animals, rocks and streams

Yesterday was quite relaxing. It was a gorgeous day, temperatures not so chilled, a pre-spring day that allowed us to enjoy the outdoors without heavy jackets for the majority of the daylight hours.

We had made plans to go out to the Farm out in front of the hills, a good 1 1/2 hour drive from here, to pick up another 1/2 animal we had ordered for our freezer. It is an organic farm, all grass-fed animals, very healthy, in a really beautiful location. The family has had that farm since the 1820's and it is nice to be able to support such a longstanding local effort of growers. The kids got to get up close and personal with some horses, since all the sheep and cows were too far away in their grazing--they have a vast 800+ acres of land--but we would like to go back in early summer when there are new babies to behold.

The highlight was a beautiful mountain stream that runs through the property. The babbling brook beckoned to both my children, to which they responded with great delight. C simply loved throwing rock after rock into the brook, while K found long sticks on the ground that she could use to pretend to fish. I got the chance to demonstrate some rock-skipping prowess and take some photos that I hope will turn out nice--we shall see within the week.

The solitude and peace that my soul feels out there reinvigorates my desire to move away from the bustling suburban life we now live. If MQE's workplace move has us going out closer to that same general area, I will not be upset with anything but leaving the incredible community of friends I have met here...but it is all starting over yet again, something I have done so many times in my adult life and I know I can adapt again.

catharis con compais

I am in a position at the Uni. where I do not get the opportunity to acquaint myself with many of my colleagues, quite simply due to the fact that I only teach part-time two evenings a week. Yesterday's conference ended up being a great door-opener for me in that sense, not only allowing for a great sharing of ideas and opinions during the conference but also for fomenting bonds that create a community of women. A group of 12 women from the Department went out for Mexican food and drinks following the conference--and for four straight hours we sat, told stories, drank our daiquiris margaritas wine beer you name it--and most importantly, laughed like I have not laughed in ages. Much of what was said must not be repeated...but I will say that I will never in my life ever think of "jazz hands" in the same way, ever. ever again!

After such wonderful nights there are always vows of continuing Happy Hours on a monthly or bimonthly basis. Something like that might be good for Departmental morale---as long as it is kept a bit down in frequency, I would think, or the issue might become forced. But anyway--leave it to me to always overthink and overanalyze. Point is, we all had a great time and hopefully will be spending just a litte more time with each other outside the claustrophobic hallways of T. Hall.

E and I also have set our sushi date for after Spring Break so we can tell each other all about our trips...she's going to Tahoe, we are going to Memphis. Sounds like we'll have lots to talk about!

joys in the exes...

I absolutely love running in to my ex-students. I was lucky to be able to see two yesterday, one from over a year ago and another from last term. I am a lucky teacher in that I have no problems rapidly establishing rapport with those in my classes, and this connection allows them to open up, open their mouths, err, be corrected, and enjoy themselves in an unthreatening atmosphere. I am not quite sure how that happens, but I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, since something must be right.

We have a writing rubric conference continuing today, in which I am particularly interested in participating. There is as of yet no established departmental standard as to the correction of compositions at all levels and some sort of a coherent guideline would be particularly beneficial, especially to the more advanced students. For one to give a C- for writing skills that another would rate as a B+ is ludicrous. The only problem is that there is so much "old blood" in the Department that remain staunch and inflexible, unwilling to adapt and change to new teaching styles, improve upon themselves and, in turn, create a stronger departmental core/corps. At any rate, I look greatly forward to putting my two cents' worth in...as those of you who know me well can attest, I do jump at any chance I have to express my opinion.

We did one of my favorite activities in my intermediate class last night in order to practice the use of the subjunctive, the palmreading exercise. It works so well in a class that feels so comfortable with each other, and it can be so fun. I have to stay on them to remain in Spanish, as there is still so much they have yet to learn to express, but these are the kinds of extra-textual things that can really expand their language skills in the context of FUN!

After all, that's what it is all about, ¿no?