a bouquet of crap

I don't watch much TV, except 1/2 hour of news in Spanish on Univisión followed by my Show, Yo amo a Juan Querendón. My favorite ad was just on. It's a car commercial, a young "mover and shaker" who takes girls on a ride in his car...on a very curvy road. Each time they hit a curve in the road, whatever it is that the female passenger has in her hand (popcorn, ice cream, a drink, etc.) falls all over the lap of the young male "mover"...and then the girl, all apologetic, leans over his lap to clean it up. And this scene repeats with three or four different young ladies, each time showing the guy's face looking extremely happy with the results of the "unfortunate" accidente.


ooo la la

Okay.

From time to time I get in my "I need to save the world because nobody else is going to do it" mood like I was yesterday, but admittedly the news yesterday angered me greatly. I will keep myself appraised of that situation.

However, today I am definitely feeling much more...hmmmm, shall I say ¿self absorbed?

heh heh heh

I am working on my self-image issues. I am trying to figure out what about me physically gives me confidence and what, precisely, does NOT. It would be incredibly self-righteous and FALSE of me to say that, in my life, my physical condition does not affect my self-confidence; a good hair day does worlds for how I feel about myself, how my day goes, etc.

So let's be self-absorbed today. Start with hair. It is longer than I've had it in a long time. I'm happy--I can throw it back into my "frumpy" loose messy bun like I did today and still appear in public now. I have finally let it go to reach about mid-shoulders in back. It's good. Some days better than others. I really am going to need to visit Z, my "magician" one of these days, however.

Next to skin. Ugh. Sometimes I feel like a teenager. A 35 year old teenager. I hate hormones although the hormonal treatment I am now on seems to affect my skin. I hate it. I have never liked my skin, although it is not as bad as others'. I can be so vain. Some of it has to do with soy in products for my hair or my skin that I use, so I am learning what to use and what to avoid. It is a constant learning process.

Next to breasts. It seems so superficial and shallow of me, but I would love the tiniest, most minimal of boob jobs. There is so much regarding one's identity as a woman that I, as many women do, attach (and perhaps mistakenly so) to the existence of a certain degree of opulence. So superficial, I know...but I also know the other side of the equation, after having experience Mommy Boobs during and following my pregnancies, that were, frankly, to die for. Too bad they were always too sore to enjoy...

Later, to tummies. I am blessed with a decent, albeit a bit too slender, physique. I have always despised my tummy, though. I'm not sure why. Being very white-skinned and fair-toned, I have been cursed with what my mother would always call "beauty marks", the existence of which I was convinced was indicative of a definite lack of beauty. Some have been removed, others still remain. I am thinking that, perhaps, a navel ring will help me there. That I can do, it is simply a matter of arranging the appointment for a time that I have no children with me...which is usually at a time that such piercing parlours are not yet open...and hopefully with a partner in crime to hold my hand (!). I will figure that one out. In time.

Okay. That about covers things right now. Plus I'm getting too tired to think anymore tonight, even at this level. I guess I am just feeling superficial and inadequate at this point. We all have those days, ¿no?

I'll be back to saving the world tomorrow.